stupid for you ↝ ryden

2.0

ryan always disliked lunch time. in freshman year, he went to the library everyday until eventually the librarian reported to the counselor that she believed ryan was depressed and since that he hasn't returned to the school library. the cafeteria has about 3 empty tables during his lunch hour, and ryan occupies one of them.

ryan didn't have any friends, none at all. sure people were nice to him, and he would return the favor, but nothing long term. having friends meant that he would get attached to someone and they would get attached to him. while most people would be okay with that, ryan found no point to it.

you see, ryan found life pointless. at the age of 15 he decided at 18 he would kill himself. the only exception would be if he found something worth living for. now nearing the age of 17, he's found nothing yet. not that much longer.

"do you mind if i sit here?" the sudden voice made ryan jump a bit, the voice also let out a small laugh and a soft apology. it was no other than brendon, the kid with 8 months to live.

"um yeah sure." ryan responds, nodding.

brendon thanked him. sitting on the chair across from ryan. he pulled out a brown paper bag and pulled from that a sandwich and a apple. he started eating the sandwich and smiled embarrassed when he noticed ryan watching him. "what do i have somethin' on my face?" brendon asks his mouth full of sandwich.

"no, you're fine." ryan replies, feeling the same level of awkwardness the other is. "sooo," he starts.

"sooo," brendon mimics, now having swallowed his food, but about to take another bite.

"in english you said you only have 8 months to live?"

brendon nods. he goes on to explain that he has some disease ryan forgets the name of nearly instantly. he's had it since he was born and the doctors say he only has around 8 months left.

"so are you not afraid of dying?" ryan asks, once brendon finishes explaining everything.

brendon makes a laugh type sound, but is serious when he says. "i'm absolutely terrified."