August 7 2017

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    I wake up in cold sweat again, tears in my eyes, and my nails buried deep into my palms. The sheets were wrapped around my feet, and I struggled out of bed to go to the bathroom. They've been happening to me more often since I've left, the blinding pain and shock of my nightmares still resonating in my brain like a ping-pong ball.
    I wash the sweat on my face and look at my self in the mirror, my face blank and expressionless, trained after years of necessity.
    I stumble back to bed and lay next to my fiancé as she snuggles closer. Silent tears run down my face, and I wonder how I even deserve this

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