Poems from a Depressed Girl

Paranoia

It's another long night;
The paranoia is creeping in,
Sitting at the edge of my mind,
Making me feel like everything isn't fine.
It grows like cancer,
Spreading deadly and fast;
Poisoning my mind,
Making me think back.
It brings up old memories and points out my flaws.
It points out that no one ever wanted me around at all.
It points out that I'm a
Stupid
Annoying
Bitchy
Worthless
Nuisance.
That I don't deserve to live.
That I should just get out the blades again.
No one ever notices,
No one ever cares.
If I died there would be no one mourning that I'm not there.
No one ever liked me,
I've always been alone.
I've annoyed everyone around me.
It's no wonder I'm alone.
The paranoia has taken over;
It controls me now.
I lie down and try to think back,
Back to a time when I was okay,
But the paranoia has poisoned every memory.
It has taken over,
Like a parasite creeping in.
Consuming my mind,
Leaving me for dead.
Because death is what I want now that the paranoia has set in;
Everyone would be better without me,
I make their lives a living hell,
So maybe I'll go get the rope,
And the stepladder too;
Or maybe I'll step off of a roof,
And finally cease to exist.