Without Warning

Chapter 11: Can't Let go

Excuse any mistakes

Kelly~

A wave of regret consumed me as soon as  I woke up. Looking at the clock it was 5:34 am and the rain was still hitting hard. Bey and I made love all night and I regretted giving it up so quickly and easily. I can't believe I allowed myself to fall under her spell again.

Gently moving her arm from around my waist I slowly climbed out of bed naked. I walked over and collected my robe which was on the floor and put it on. Tying it around my waist I walked down stairs and cut the tv off. I cleaned up downstairs and then sat at the dining room table with the only light coming from my stove I ran my fingers through my hair and began to cry.

I felt so stupid and used. With my sobs getting louder and my hands getting wet from the tears I finally broke down realizing that I fell for my best friend, the person that I came to about everything, the one who's shoulder was always there to cry on was now the very person that was responsible for this ache in my heart.

What am I going to do?

Was a question I frequently asked myself.

"Kelly?" Her soft voice filled the silent air.

I quickly stood up and wiped the tears from my face with the back of my hand. I couldn't let her see me like this.

"Bey-"

"What's wrong ? Why are you crying?" She started to walk towards me but I stepped back with my hand motioning for her to stop.

"Please don't."

"I don't understand... we just made love I thought everything was okay." I shook my head at her as the tears kept flowing from my eyes.

"Beyoncé that doesn't change what you did. You played me, and I fell for it. You we're my best friend my rock and I thought we were always truthful with each other no matter the circumstances. When you were messing around with Jay and me that was you raising your middle finger to our friendship and love. I can't be hurt like that again, I won't be hurt like that again. Last night was a mistake.."

I saw the hurt flash through her golden brown eyes and my heart pained to see her hurting even after everything that happened.

"Just because you left Jay doesn't change what you did Beyoncé.. and this is the end for us after the rain lets up I want you gone." I was so torn because a part of me really did want to make things work out with Bey but another part of me couldn't trust her anymore. And if you don't have trust you have nothing.

"Kelly... please."

"Sleep in the guest room Bey." I walked pass her and straight upstairs to my bed room. Closing and locking the door I slid down to the floor, did I do the right thing... no matter what I'd always have love for Beyoncé I just couldn't forgive at this point. Feeling the tears starting to stain my cheeks again I took off my robe and climbed into bed.. I started to replay memories in my head as I cried into the pillow that she just accompanied.

No matter what the people say
I can't let go
I can't let go
No, no (oh)

"I'll always love you Beyoncé... no matter what I'll always be by your side" I snuggled into her and kissed her cheek.

"I love you too Kelly.. and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to have a family with you one day and I want to be your wife."