Psychopathic Tendencies [more or less discontinued]

0 2 . nice to meat you

0 2

nice to meat you

meat : the flesh of an animal (especially a mammal) as food

I SCREAMED AS I woke up, my heart racing.

"Oh god," I muttered. "What a weird dream about a vampire turned talking french can." I giggled. "Wow, I even dreamed that I was kidnapped!"

A loud cough broke me out of my thoughts.

I glanced up and saw five people standing in front of me wearing identical black suits, all of them equally sleek and shiny. Four of them were male and one was female. The female had glossy black hair that cascaded down in waves. One guy had bronze hair, who was glaring at me. Another had blondish red hair who was grinning at me. (I decided he was my favorite so far.) Another had dark brown hair and was smiling kindly. The last had golden hair and his face was void of emotions.

"Why hello." I greeted in a posh voice. "How lovely it is to make your acquaintance." I looked down. "Oh... NEVER MIND!" I scowled. "It is NOT nice to make your acquaintance. Ya know, it's rude to tie your guest up and pin her to a chair. Plus, I'm really craving nachos right now and-"

"Look lady, you're not a guest-" I cut off the bronze haired dude. "Excuse moi, did I give you permission to speak?" He looked at me funny. "You're the one who-"

"Hush, let me speak." I stopped. "Wait... what was I saying?"

"You were talking about nachos?" The red haired guy piped up. "Oh right! Thanks!" I beamed. Wait... his voice sounded familiar. I gasped.

"YOU!" I shot daggers at him. Not literally. I don't actually have a dagger with me. I do have a gun, a small knife, a taser, pepper spray and a hot dog. And a bunch of other necessary stuff to carry everyday. "TRAITOR!"

The other people turned to him as he visibly gulped. "Traitor?" The dark brown haired dude questioned.

"Yeah!" I nodded vigorously. "He was the trash can/french fries/vampire guy!"

"Um, what?" The blonde haired one scratched his head. "Don't ask." The red haired guy grumbled.

I giggled, before letting out a strangled scream. "Hold on a second, WHAT DID YOU DO TO POTATO FRY?!"

"...Potato fry?" The girl asked incredulously. I sobbed, nodding. "You guys killed him!" I wailed.

The blonde haired one rolled his eyes. "We didn't kill your fries. You didn't have any. Plus, fries aren't even alive."

I glared at him, gasping. "HOW DARE YOU! ONCE I GET OUT OF THESE ROPES I WILL STUFF YOUR HEAD INTO A POTATO MASHER AND FEED YOU TO THE PIGEONS SHISH KEBAB STYLE AND-" I was cut off when I heard a faint meow coming from behind me. "POTATO FRY!"

A flash of black jumped out from the pile of boxes behind me and landed in my lap.

"That's Potato Fry?" The dark brown haired one stared at my cat, shocked.

"Well duh," I answered. "What did you think it was?"

"We thought...nevermind."

"So, anyone care to explain?" I raised an eyebrow, using my head to gesture to the ropes that tied me to the chair.

"Oh right, blame it all on your brother." The blonde one replied. 

"Uh, I'm an only child though. Right?"

Everyone stared at me in varying degrees of confusion. That's when I recalled I did in fact have a brother. Sorry Jace, you're just too easy to forget when I'm spending time with such an amazing person, namely, myself.