What Is Love? | exo

52.0

Yifan came back with a cup of coffee and slid it in front of Zitao. The fact that Yifan was trying to force a smile made Zitao nervous and irritated at the same time. Yifan wasn't the guy to smile all the time but Zitao knew when it was genuine or not.

Yifan started talking straight away. "Ok, so first. I need you to hear me out and not get angry at me... at least not till I've finished." He said. "Because when someone else gets angry at me I get angry at them and it's fricken annoying, I know."

Zitao paused. He nodded. Then once he realised a nod didn't answer anything he spoke. "Ok...I promise"

"Right, that's a good start." Yifan said in relief.
"What I did last night... god, I don't know what went through my head but I just felt like I needed to. Like... like to confirm something... and I'm so sorry I did it so sudden and I felt awkward because I had never done anything in my life like that. So I'm sorry."

"But... but what—"

"Wait, don't talk. I know what you're thinking. Look, I don't know wherever you got that idea from but—what? What in the world were you on about? A test? Seriously, Tao, I would never use you for anything like that, surely you know that? I swear."

Zitao felt guilt seeping into him, he didn't know why he would think that he just did—in the moment he got angry and his mind went straight to that. He regrets it but there was nothing he could do now.
He hates that he should have known that Yifan would do that kind of thing but how was he suppose to know! Yifan wasn't a very open guy!
But then again, 'he's not into guys' Zitao thought 'so it was obvious he wouldn't do anything like that to—Wait.'

"You.. hold on, you said... earlier... to confirm something? Confirm what?"

Yifan swallowed. "Just let me finish, questions after okay? I'll get there"

"Fine"

"I didn't mean to get angry at you either... it's just that you got angry at me and like I said before... it just made me annoyed that you weren't listening to me. If you hadn't of shouted I would have explained to you rather that doing it now."

"So it's my fault?" Zitao said flatly.

"God—no. Tao, please."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry" he shook his head and finally dared to take a sip of his coffee, as he felt at least slightly a bit more relaxed. "I just... want to know why you did it... can you answer my question now? What did you want to confirm?"

Yifan dropped quiet and bit the inside of his cheek. He felt like maybe he would regret saying this... but he know he had already came this far and couldn't go back. No matter how good his lying skills were he couldn't hide this and in fact... there was some part of him that didn't want to hide it.

"That I liked..." Yifan strangely panicked once seeing the expression on Zitaos face. He couldn't read him and suddenly Yifan thought Zitao would somehow be angry at him if he said the younger boys name. So he changed it to a more general term. "Guys..."

For a good minute or so, Zitao sat staring at him like he was processing what the older had just said.

"By guys you mean.... bo—"

"Yes Tao. Boys. Guys. Men. Same thing aren't they?" Yifan sighed. He didn't know whether he felt relieved or what. " are you happy now?"

A Pause. "Can I leave now?" Zitao said with a blank expression and tone of voice.

"What?—"
Zitao stood up and looked down to Yifan, who looked confused and irritated.
"Tao—what are you doing?" He stood up to meet at the same height. "Is that all you've got to say? That you're leaving?"