Sleep Walking

Chapter 4

I stare at my dad. "Cancer... I- she... But..."

"She was passing through town on her way to the hospital. She is unstable home alone. She called me a few days ago, wanting to know if you might want a short visit with her. God, she loves you."

I cry and cry for what seems like hours. Screaming 'momma' missing her so much.

I eventually fall asleep on the dusty couch. I dream about my mom. She came back for good. She and my dad were married happily. Then someone knocked on the door. Wait, real life. WAKE UP my mind screams at me. I sit up and sulk over to the door, open it and see Jason. Shit! Our date. I see he is all dressed up. My jaw dropped to the floor.

"Jason, I'm so sorry i-"

"Is now a bad time? I can leave I mean-"

"No uh... Give me five minutes!" I turn to run up stairs but he grabs my arm.

"Where are you going?"

"To get ready. I look like shit."

"I think you look beautiful," he smiles.

"So you think shit looks beautiful?" I laugh. "Dad I'm going out, ill be back tonight!"

My dad came hopping down the stairs to say goodbye, but as soon as he saw Jason, his face changed from happy to mad. "You!" His face was red as he stomped toward Jason. I step out of my dad's wrath path.

Needless to say, our date didn't happen, and Jason and my dad are... Not on good terms.

I sit. On the end of my bed listening to the endless pounding on my door.

"Dixie, please let me in. I need to go to bed and I need to talk to you!"

"No just go away! If mom were here she would let me go and hang out with Jason!"

"Well your mom isn't here! Hell, she's almost dead! You are lucky to at least have one parent!"

"I dont think you count as a parent when your drunk!"

"I work my ass off for you! I love you Dixie I just... I wasn't ready, to... I wasn't ready to have a kid. I do my best Dixie, I really want to be a good dad!"

"Well, your not a good dad! I don't give a shit about how hard you try! Everytime I see you, you have a beer in your hand!" Your hand that held my delicate newborn body. Your hand that tucked me in every night for 5 years. Your hand that slapped my face. I began crying, my face buried in my hands.
Eventually my dad leaves, and I need some fresh air. I open my window and set my foot on a nail and eventually work my way down to the ground.

The moon, the memories. The stars, the dreams. The air, the pain. The grass, the hope. My world was crumbling to pieces. Every piece and part of it was being crushed to oblivion. Every dream is being stolen and locked away.

I being walking in the dark, on the frozen ground. I trip and catch myself with my arms. It didn't hurt, but I took it as an excuse to cry. I look at the ground as my tear drops fall and watch them melt the thin layer of frost that covers the ground.

"Dixie?" A warm hand rubs my back "is that you?" I look up and see the emerald eyes that warms my soul everytime I see them.

I throw myself in his arms and cry on his muscular shoulders.

"Dixie, what's wrong? You are so cold lets get you home," I shake my head. I was NOT going home.

He holds my chin, "Sunshine, tell me. What happened?" I knew Jason knew what happened. I didn't have to tell him.
He helps me up and leads my along the edge of the feild behind the residential area I live in until we reach the beach. Jason's arm around my shoulders made me feel so safe. Like a force feild stopping any defense mechanism that could be used against me, but I know that my dad is still back there.
We sit under a tree at the edge of the sand. Neither of us say a word. We stare at tithe waves crashing against the sand. I see the water at my dad. Never the same. Big. Strong. Cold. I see myself as the sand. Weak. Beat by the water. Ever changing. Defined. I see the moon. It is a just a small sliver in the sky. Enough to cast light on the Jason's perfect muddy face. I look down at my boots. "My mom has cancer."

Jason looks at me, mouth open, eyes understanding, he seemed to not know what to say. He just reached out him arms and offered me a comforting hug. I accepted. The last thing I remember is stand barefooted on his boots, dancing with no music. Just listening to the waves, to the midnight birds. Everything was so perfect. I never want to stop. Every spin drove me crazy, every dip and kiss made me want every part of him all to myself.
I felt him grab my hand, suddenly I hear voices, Meg, Liv, Landon, everybody. The song House Party by Sam Hunt plays so loud, it hurts. I knew I was at a house party when I was handed a Coors in a solo cup and told it was fruit punch. We dance on the couch and hide off in rooms and made out. This was great. I remember spilling my beer all over myself and going for another.
               MATURE CONTENT SKIP TO NEXT CHAPTER IF YOU DONT WANT TO READ IT (I strongly suggest you read)
I recall Jason scooping me up and carrying me to another room. Drops me on the bed and kisses me from my lips down to my chest. He rips of my shirt and skillfully unbuckles my bra, like he has done this many times before. He kisses me like ive never been kissed before, like he needs me, like I need him. He works his way back up to my head, "Be Mine, Dixie." I hear the song Hard 2 Love in the back ground.
I nod and kiss him before he can celebrate. I feel him slip off his shirt, we were bare skin, to bare skin. I feel him hold me tight as I unbutton his pants. We don't get much farther than that before we crash from the alcohol. And as I slept, all I could think of was, he wants me to be his girlfriend.