Ch. 10 - What You Did

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< Chapter 10: What You Did >

♥ Jamie’s POV: ♥ 

I was ashamed of myself.

I didn’t mean to ignore him or push him away like that, I just needed space. For some reason, I couldn’t get over what happened last night, and the thought that Justin’s actually capable of rape scares the living shit out of me.

I tried to convince myself he would never do that to me. I know how much he loves me, but I can’t help but think maybe all of that goes away when he’s drunk. As selfish as it sounds, I expect him to be loyal even when he’s under the influence and I expect of him not to mistreat me either. I know I might sound like a bitch but is that really too much to ask? Wouldn’t every girl expect that of their man? I wouldn’t have a problem if he expected the same thing out of me.

So if Justin’s capable of doing that when drunk, what am I supposed to do? He’s already cheated on me once when he was drunk, and I know it was a long time ago and that I should probably forget it, get over it and move on but it doesn’t change the fact that it happened.

But I couldn’t help but wonder… Why was I so uncomfortable when he touched me back there? He only grabbed my wrist lightly and my first instinct was to pull away?

See, that bothers me because usually my instinct would be to go closer to him. I usually crave his touch, but this time I pushed him away. Why?

Did last night really affect me that much? Why couldn’t I look him in the eyes properly when he showed up a few minutes ago? I couldn’t think of him the same way… Why?

I don’t want to feel this way. I don’t want to feel like I’m scared. For god’s sake, I’m engaged to him. He always treats me like a princess, what more could I want?

This isn’t helping. I’m just confusing myself by thinking about it. Maybe I should get some more rest after all…

♥ Justin’s POV: ♥ 

“I was a pretty weird kid,” I chuckled, holding Jason tighter in my arms. I had just finished feeding him his formula after he woke up at one point when I was watching him sleep. Now I was in my room, laying back on the bed and watching t.v while telling Jason a story from when I was in middle school. “But anyway, so Ryan and I were just shooting hoops in the gym when your mommy came in with a couple of her friends. Now, I know what you’re thinking, daddy and mommy were just best friends in middle school, but I still felt the need to impress her.”

I looked down at Jason, watching as he stared at me, drooling onto his shirt. I chuckled before continuing the story.

“So, not surprisingly, I started dribbling the ball like a fucking pro, pulling all these cool tricks I learned a few days before that. I made sure your mommy was looking when I threw the ball in the air, and I watched while it was mid-air and approaching the net. Obviously, I made it in. But, at the time, I was so happy because it was a nice shot, and I was really far from the net. Anyway, your mom’s jaw dropped and she couldn’t believe I actually made it in. She ran over to me and hugged me so, so tightly. I can still feel her arms squeezing me from that day. She began asking me all these questions like, ‘how did you do that’ or ‘did you see what you just did.’ And I just smiled at your mom and hugged her again. All her friends were giggling at us and… I was just a happy little guy. Those were the days, buddy.”

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