Lucky Day Of Doom: A Collection Of Short Stories

Lucky Day Of Doom

As I was exiting the grocery store, a six-pack of beers in my hand, a slight glimmer caught my eye. I bent down, careful not to drop my beer, and picked up the penny. Lincoln's copper face was staring back at mine. "Good luck," I thought to myself, and hopped into my BMW.

As I was driving home, there was a traffic jam, and a symphony of car horns blasted. I turned down my radio, unable to hear it over the beeping, and swerved out of the way. I knew a shortcut. Well, it wasn't really a shortcut, but not many people usually took the route, so I was safe from that damn traffic. There were only  two cars on this road, as far as I could see, and I would be home in about two minutes. As I was about to reach for the dial to turn on my radio, my car jolted, and then flipped over. I'm not sure, but I think I threw up out the window in mid-air.

I woke up in a pool of  glass and blood. No one was on the road, as I had said before, and therefor there was no one to help me in my situation. I unbuckled my seatbelt and kicked open my door. The only remaining window shattered as I did this. As I pushed myself up I felt a pain in my arm. It was broken, and there was a piece of glass lodged in it. That was probably where all the blood came from. I got up, tugged the glass out and surveyed the wreckage of my BMW. Damnit, it was such a nice car. A glimmer caught my eye again. The penny. I picked it up and thought to myself, "so much for good luck."

It was a long walk home. I was so used to the speed of my now destroyed car that walking home felt like I was in slow-motion. When I arrived there was yet another terrible sight to see, this one even more unnerving then the sight of my wrecked sports car. My cleaning lady, who came to my house once a week, was lying on the floor, her face a ghostly white, her yellow uniform drenched in  blood, but perhaps the most disturbing part about her appearance was the broom lodged in her skull. How that broom got stuck in her head is beyond me.

As I raced to the phone to call the police, I slipped on the floor polishing fluid, which the cleaning lady was  unable to mop up, due to her strange predicament.

As I got up, careful not to slip, I noticed once again the shimmer of the "good luck" penny, which had fallen out of my pocket when I slipped. As I looked at it, my mind went to the six-pack of beers that had been in my trunk. A beer. That's exactly what I needed right now. A nice, cold beer.

I went to the fridge and pulled out a can of Budweiser. Not my favorite, but it would do. I picked up the phone and dialed for the police. Nothing. For some, odd reason, the police hadn't answered the phone. The god damn police had not answered the freakin' phone! "Holy shit," I thought to myself. "What the hell am I gonna do with the body? What in the name of god is going on?" I gulped down my beer, but quickly sweat it out. I grabbed another can from the fridge.

I picked up the cleaning lady's body, but I decided against removing the broom, because she couldn't clean the bathroom if I got sick. I felt bad doing what I did next, but I didn't have any better ideas. I tossed her body downstairs. I heard a loud snapping noise and assumed the broom had dislodged itself from her skull. Good thing I didn't have to see it, although I got sick anyway. After a minute of vomiting from too much beer and from sheer disgust, I felt a little bit better.

The house smelled of blood and vomit, but I didn't even care. A thunderstorm had begun outside, and it was rough. The trees In my front yard swayed back and forth violently, and I feared that one may come crashing down on my roof. I was right.

The was a clap of thunder, then a flash of lightning, and finally, the loud boom of a tree smashing down on my house. It busted through the attic and fell into the living room, smashing my lovely television. "Shit!" I thought to myself. "I gotta get outta here!" And so, grabbing a beer or two for the road, I ran out of the house, despite the fact that there was a storm raging on outside.

Just as I had exited my home, there was another flash of lightning, and my house caught fire. I watched in horror as it burned to the ground, along with the cleaning lady. I ran into town to get some help. As I was running, I passed my car. Or rather, what was left of it, and I stopped to stare at the wreckage, one last time.

Apparently news of the car crash, dead cleaning lady, and burning house hadn't reached the town yet. I walked over to a bench and sat down, pondering what I should do next. I grabbed a beer from my pocket (yes I put a beer in my pocket. Actually, I put two beers in my pocket.) and my hand emerged with the penny too. "Good luck," I thought to myself sarcastically. " This day has been anything but lucky."

I tossed the penny into the street. It landed face up. A teenage boy, around sixteen or seventeen picked it up. "Awesome! I got some good luck today!"

I hope that boy didn't have a BMW.