"Would you guys happen to have a microwave? I'd like to make some popcorn."
"The fuck?"
Celestia and Fluttershy turned around. They knew that voice. The voice of an obese, autistic child. They turned around and looked at him, dumbfounded. "How the fuck did you get here? I destroyed your world!" Yelled Celestia.
"Do you have a microwave?"
"Shut the fuck up."
"Okay.. what's the opposite of stop?"
"Nigga what?"
"What's the opposite of stop?"
"Um.. go?"
Suddenly the autist leaped forward and dabbed on Celestia, almost knocking her down. "The fuck is wrong with you?"
She turned to Fluttershy, "The fuck's wrong with this nigga?"
"Dude did you see how high I jumped?"
Celestia shook her head. "This nigga retarded.."
Fluttershy nodded her head in agreement.
"Seriously though, do you guys have a microwave?"
"No bitch, stop fuckin' asking us."
"Okay."
Celestia pointed her hoof at JD Quan and looked at Fluttershy again. "The fuck is wrong with him?"
Fluttershy studied him intently. "I think he's a mongoloid."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Overweight, shouting memes, completely unpredictable in his behavior. He has to be a mongoloid."
"I'm not Mongolian, I'm Korean."
"This nigga..." Celestia sighed.
This nigga indeed. Somehow, this boy became even more retarded than he was when Celestia last saw him. I could've sworn I teleported him to Tartarus. She thought.
JD Quan suddenly pointed at Celestia and yelled "Sike nigga, you thought!"
"Bitch what?"
"You teleported me to some place full of bugs. I think they were called Caterpillars or something. They have a really mean queen who runs the place. I forgot her name. She called me a fat fuck and I got depressed. Then she tried to kill me but I said you sent me there and she got all happy and told me to follow her here."
Celestia somehow managed to turn pale despite being a pure shade of white. She looked more shook than a nigga having a flashback of 'Nam. She opened her mouth to say something but was suddenly interrupted by the sound of one of her windows shattering.
"What the fuck's poppin' cunt?"
"Oh fuck..."
"You thought I forgot about my money, didn't you?"
"Oh fuck.."
"You really thought I wasn't going to show up again?"
"Chrysalis, please."
"Shut the fuck up and give me my money. Your shitty plan worked. You're rolling in piles now. Time to pay up."
Fluttershy turned to Celestia, scared. "You owe Chrysalis money?"
Chrysalis looked down at Fluttershy, coldly. "So... You found yourself a new bitch? Thought it would be Twilight though. Where is she, anyway?"
Celestia scratched the back of her head. "She's probably dead. Fluttershy over here beat the shit out of her and while she was knocked out, I destroyed the planet. No way she survived that."
"Wow.. you killed Twilight.. You're a horrible mare, you know that?"
"Yeah.. well, I mean Fluttershy here most likely killed her. I just got rid of the body!"
"No, she was definitely still breathing." Fluttershy interjected.
"Shut the fuck up, Fluttershy."
Chrysalis looked around the room some more. "Where's Jewjitsu?"
Celestia froze. That nigga dead. Killed his ass on sight. Bitch never had a chance. Shot his ass in the damn face. Blew his face wide open. No way he survived that. Nah, Celestia dumped his rotting corpse in some acid just to be sure he was gone. Then she teleported the container to the sun. He gone. Nope. No way. Nada. Zil--
"Bitch where the fuck is Jewjitsu?" Chrysalis demanded.
Ofuk.jpeg. Celestia thought to herself. She actually fucked up now. She killed a nigga's homeboy and now that nigga done returned to seek revenge.
"Well-- I.. uhh.. ahem.. you see, uhh.. okay so.. um." Celestia sounded like a socially autistic loser staggering his way through a conversation with a bitch he'll never get. Chrysalis had had enough of it.
"You have five seconds to tell me where the fuck my nigga is 'fore I kill yo bitch ass right here nigga on God."
Ofukofukofukofuk.
"Five."
Shitshitshutshitshitshitshitshit
"Four."
Think Celestia holy shit!
"Three."
Goddamn nigga say something you gon die!
"Two."
"He's dead."
"One-- nigga what?"
"He's dead.. I killed him."
Chrysalis said nothing.
"I'm sorry okay? I found out you and him were doing shit behind my bac--"
"We were doing each other!" Chrysalis yelled. "And you fucking killed him! You whore!"
"How the fuck am I a whore?"
"I know what you did. I saw ou use him like a fucktoy. Then move onto Twilight after you got tired of him.. Now she's dead too. I'm guessing you're gonna give Fluttershy the same treatment when she stops pleasing you."
Fluttershy winced at that statement.
"You know it's true, Fluttershy."
"No.. no she wouldn't." Fluttershy looked at Celestia. "You wouldn't... would you?" She was tearing up.
Celestia started to say something but was quickly interrupted by Chrysalis. "Don't lie to her, Celly."
Celestia ignored her and hugged Fluttershy.
"No, I would never do that to you Fluttershy. I love you."
"Bull-fucking-shit."
"It's not bullshit, Chrysalis! Fuck off!"
"Whatever. Aye, fatboy, come on. Let's rob this shithole clean."
Chrysalis and JD Quan exited the room, leaving Celestia and Fluttershy all alone. Fluttershy was still shaking, tears streaming down her face. Celestia continued to try to calm her down. Tell her that everything was okay. That what Chrysalis said wasn't true.
Deep down, they both knew Chrysalis was right. Celestia was a genuinely horrible mare. She didn't deserve Fluttershy. If she wasn't immortal, she'd rot in Hell after her death. Celestia was crying. Chrysalis had done it again. She had come and robbed Celestia of something precious to her. Only this time, it wasn't a material good. It was Fluttershy's love. Celestia wasn't sure if she wanted to live anymore. It wasn't worth it. The honeymoon is over. Reality is here.
Reality is death.
