Reaching Towards the Stars

Early Morning Confessions

When the movie had finished, I was almost asleep, blinking wildly as someone turned the lights on. Niall looked down at me and smiled, scooping me up in his arms.

"She probably missed the ending," I heard Liam say sadly, and I grinned.

"No, I didn't!" I protested weakly, "I finished it!"

Niall laughed and stood up, dodging stray candy bags and crushed chips, "You guys clean up, I'm gonna take her up to her room." 

"I'm awake, I can walk!" I said, squirming out of his grip. He tried to keep his hold, but I had already raced around the couch. "Honestly, I'm fine!" 

Liam looked towards me from where he was picking up a spilled bag of jelly beans, "Are you sure, Kimmy?"

"Yes, I'm fine!" I exclaimed, almost tripping on an overturned bowl on my way to the door, "Just a bit woozy is all."

I started out the door just as Liam called after me, "Be careful on the stairs, and watch out for the ledge!"

Finding my way blindly in the dark, I stumbled into the hallway that led to the stairs. I clutched the railing half-heartedly, remembering my plan. 

I haven't had a memory flash in a little while, so maybe, just maybe, I could see if they could go away on their own. It's possible, isn't it? I chuckled at my own thoughts, knowing they were the ramblings of a sleeping mind. 

I was halfway up the stairs when the dizzy spell hit, making me fall backward into someones strong arms. I couldn't see, my eyes were almost sealed shut with sleepiness, but I could feel the warm arms lift me up the stairs.

I mumbled something unintelligible, making whoever was carrying me laugh a little, "Shh, it's alright. I got you."

It was Niall.

"Ni," I slurred, speaking whatever I was thinking, "Do you know that my dad gave me up?"

He froze a little, recovering a second later, "What does that mean?"

"He told me when he left that I was the only thing dragging him down. He would have stayed if it was just my mum. I'd just be the baggage they have to carry around all the time." I was rambling blindly, not even realizing what was coming out of my mouth. I had actually never said that out loud.

"No, that's not why he left you." He said, confusing me.

"Oh, really? Why not?" I said, my head rolling to one side.

"He left you because he was scared he couldn't be who you needed him to be. He was afraid."

"I needed him to stay," I said drifting off slowly, "That's all I'll ever need. Is someone to stay."

Niall laid me down on my bed and softly whispered, "I'll stay." He held my hand as I closed my eyes. "For as long as you need me."

...

I woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. I had just had another memory dream, this one no better than the last. I was hyperventilating and my palms were sweaty, so I closed my eyes and focused on my breathing, doing a breathing exercise I had learned over the years.

When it was back to normal, I opened my eyes and looked around the room a little spooked. To my surprise, (although I wasn't protesting), I saw Niall sleeping on the floor right by my bed. I hadn't noticed this before, but he was still clutching my hand. I blushed and took another breath before I decided to wake him up.

It was super early in the morning, (according to my alarm clock it was 2:50), but the shadows were already seeping into my mind. If you haven't noticed, I'm a tad bit afraid of the dark. That was basically the reason I found myself poking Niall awake. Under no circumstances did I want to be awake alone at 3:00.