My secret lover

Chapter 22

"Magic, I think you have some explaining to do." Helen and Steve say as they walk into the kitchen. I nod. "Yeah. I'm so sorry about dean... He's never moody-" I stop when I remember why he was moody before. "I think he just got jealous. Every guy does that." I shake my head from my thoughts. "But not every guy yells at his girlfriend." Helen says. "Or is 12 years older." Steve mumbles. Helen slaps him upside the head. "I know. And I am gonna have a talk with him about it. I didn't do anything with roman. He slept in my room because he could hear Rachel and Seth... Talking." I say. They nod. "It's ok magic. Just, I think they should leave tomorrow morning. It'd be for the best." Helen says, smiling sadly. "I know mom. I will." I say. I get up and go in my room. I close the door and stop dead in my tracks. "When'd you come back?" I ask dean, a small smile forming on my lips. "I know you had sex with roman." Dean says, sounding bored. "I would never-" "cheat on me cause you love me... Yeah, yeah. I get it magic. But you did. And you're lying to me!" Dean says, raising his voice. "Dean, don't yell please." I say quietly. "Just tell me the truth magic. Did you sleep with roman?" He asks quietly. "I didn't sleep with him when you saw him coming out if my room, and I didn't sleep with him yesterday." I say. Technically, I'm not lying. "But you have slept with him, huh?" Dean asks, hurt in his eyes. "Dean, I was ma-" "I'm mad too! But I didn't sleep with anyone! I've never cheated on you, for this whole almost year magic, I've only loved you. And what do you do? Sleep with my friend!" Dean half shouts. There's a knock on the door and our heads snap towards it. "Who is it?" I ask, it more of a question as to why someone's at my door. "Um, it's me." Seth says awkwardly. I open the door and he and roman are standing there. "Good. Dean's back." Seth says, dragging roman in. I bite my lip nervously and close the door. Seth sits roman on my bed and dean glares at roman and roman glares back. "We're gonna settle this, cause Helen is standing in the kitchen staring at nothing, and Steve is literally digging you guys' graves. So talk this out. Now." Seth orders, crossing his arms. "You slept with my girlfriend." Dean says behind clenched teeth. "And she was screaming my name instead of yours." Roman says cooly, smirking. My mouth drops and Seth's eyes bulge. Dean pounces on roman and they start throwing punches at each other. "Stop them!" I say to Seth. "You cheated on dean with roman?" Seth asks, betrayal in his eyes. "I-I..." I trail off. Seth shakes his head. "Damn girl. You just want 'em all." Seth laughs. I slightly nod then point to roman and dean. "They're your lovers." Seth shrugs. "Did you have to put it that way?" I ask, scrunching up my face. He shrugs. "Dean! Roman! Guys! Stop it!" I say, shoving dean's shoulder. He pushes me away and I almost fall. Roman notices and kicks dean away. "Magic, are you ok?" He asks, grabbing my face in is hands. "You have a bloody eye and a swollen lip already." I say, lightly touching his puffed up lip. "Get the fuck off my girlfriend!" Dean yells angrily, shoving roman away from me. "I'm not your girlfriend, dean. And you guys should leave by tomorrow morning." I say quietly, walking out of my room. I walk into the living room and sit on the couch. A few minutes later, I hear footsteps. "Magic. Don't do this to us. I love you and I know you just made a mistake." Dean says, standing behind me. I turn and look at him. "Why the sudden change of mood?" I ask, furrowing my eyebrows. "I saw something." Dean says. I raise an eyebrow at him. He grabs my hand and leads me back to my bedroom. "Dean, what'd you-" I'm cut off by dean opening my underwear drawer and digging through it. He pulls out two plastic bags. One with my razors in them, the other of some weed. I look away from him. "Magic, you've been cutting yourself again? And doing this shit?" He says. I nod. "Only a little." I say quietly. Dean tosses the bags on my bed and wraps me in his arms. I start to cry in his chest. "I'm so sorry dean. I'm so, so sorry." I sob, clutching his shirt. "I'm not mad at you anymore. I just want you to stop hurting yourself." Dean whispers. "Will you take me back?" I ask quietly. "Of course baby, I'm just never gonna forgive roman." Dean shrugs, sitting on my bed. I crawl into his lap, hugging his neck. "I'm never gonna cheat on you again. I l-love you too much too much to lose you. I realized that when you were in the hospital that I COULD lose you. And it scares me. It scares me so fucking much." I say, letting the last few stray tears dry on my face. Dean takes my face in his hands and kisses me, making all of my feelings for roman leave, replacing them with all of my love for dean. I kiss back and he lays back on my bed. His hands travel through my hair and our tongues explore each other's mouths. "Jesus. Do you ever stop?" My dad shouts, making me jump off of dean, landing on my feet next to my bed. I look down and dean stands up, running a hand through his hair. "Um, sorry sir. About earlier." Dean says awkwardly. My dad sighs. "I don't like you. You seem like a bad influe- what's that?" He asks, stepping into my room and pointing to the two baggies still on my bed. My eyes bulge and I look up to dean for answers. "They're mine. I um... Left them in her room." Dean covers, shoving the weed into his pocket and covering the razors with the blanket subtly. "You brought drugs in my house?!" Steve shouts. Dean looks at me then back to my dad. "Yes. And I shouldn't have." He says quietly. I raise my eyebrows at him. "No, dad, dean's covering for me. They're mine." I say, standing in front of dean. "Magic what are you-" dean starts before my dad cuts him off. "Magic, he brought drugs into my house and you're gonna take the blame for him?" Steve asks, his voice still loud. "I... I." I look at dean who shakes his head a little at me. "You're right, they're dean's." I say quietly, my head down. Steve shakes his head at us. "I want you to stay out of my house. I don't want to see you near magic either." Steve says walking away. "Dad! No!" I yell after him. Dean grabs my arm, turning me to face him. "It's fine magic. It's gonna be ok." Dean says, giving me a reassuring smile. I grab both of his upper arms. "You told him the drugs were yours, dean. What if he calls the cops? Then what?" I ask, tears coming to my eyes. Dean cups my face in his hands. "It's ok. I've gotten myself out of trouble before. But, I got to go now. Ok?" Dean says, smiling lightly at me. I grip his arms tighter, not saying anything. Dean leans down and kisses me, our mouths fitting together perfectly. "Don't go." I whisper. "Out now, Ambrose. Before I call the cops on you." My dad says, glaring at dean. Dean let's go of me and starts to walk out. The tears flow out of my eyes and I glare at my dad. I push past him and follow dean. "Dean, wait." I say, making dean pause at the door. "Take me with you." I whisper, looking down the hall. "Magic, last time I did-" "that was last time." I try to reassure him. I smile at him. "If they can't except you, I don't want to be here. I'm tired of hiding you from people." I say, walking over to him. I wrap my arms around his waist. "Magic, I... I can't. I don't want you to get in anymore trouble. Please stay here, you'll be safe. With me, you never know what'll happen. What if something happens like when I got put in the hospital? I wouldn't be able to live with myself if that happens to you." Dean says, kissing the top of my head. I look up at him sadly. "Ok. I love you." I lean up and kiss him. "Magic! Stop kissing him, now!" Steve says angrily. I step away from dean, smiling sadly at him. He looks over to Steve, smirks, and pulls me to him by my waist. He kisses me roughly and passionately, our tongues going in and out of each other's mouth, and showing. I smile into the kiss. "I love you, baby." He says, pecking my lips one more time. "I love you too." I say, smiling and he slips out the door before Steve can do anything. The smile drops off of my face and I walk past Steve, ignoring him. I walk into my room and toss my blades into my drawer again. I walk back over to the door and slam it shut, then lean against it. "Magic sweety, would you like to come with us to get a pizza?" Helen asks. "No thanks mom. You guys go." I say, swallowing the lump in my throat and trying to steady my voice. "Ok. We'll be back shortly." She says then walks away. I rake my hands through my hair violently a few times. I start to breath heavily and pull at my hair. My eyes over flow with tears and I start to scream as I sob uncontrollably. I stomp my feet a few times and scream again. I hit my head against the door, hoping to ease the pain. I collapse to the ground and grab a pillow near my bed off of the ground. I clutch it to my chest and it's long enough so I wrap my legs around as I wail my heart out. I remember something that a kid ounce said to me in school a year ago. "Family is like toilet paper, you don't realize you need it until it's gone." I start crying more. "What if the toilet paper doesn't care?" I whisper. I say it again, and again. A few minutes go by of me repeating that until I'm screaming it. I punch the side of the bed that I'm close to and I scream, hoping to get all of my emotions out. I cry louder than I was earlier, my eyes closed. "What if the toilet paper doesn't care?" I cry out, suddenly remembering what's hidden inside my drawer. I let go of the pillow, still crying, and crawl over to my dresser. I smile slightly when I see the Baggie. I grab a razor and pull up my sleeve. I whimper and let a few tears fall. I start to carve a line in my wrist when I get an idea. I finish the line and then look at my thighs. I sit on my bed and carve the words 'T.P. Don't care' in little letters, the T.P. Standing for toilet paper. I start to cry hard again and slit my wrist a few times. I see someone standing in front of me and look up with blurry eyes. The person wraps me in their arms, careful of my leg and wrist, before I see who they are.