Oh, everyone just thought you were crazy, I can hear one of them say. No one utters a word but I hear the voices. I see it in their eyes. They all think the same: I'm insane.
Perhaps I have indeed lost my sanity. No one says anything and everyone in the office looks normal. No one gives me a strange glance even, yet I'm convinced I see things and I hear voices. I must have schizophrenia.
I wish I were schizophrenic instead. Masking how I truly feel is exhausting. I hate that I have to act as though I don't know about the infidelities. I'm probably not fooling anyone anyway. They must know I know. So, they're most likely asking why I'm not doing anything about the situation.
They must be thinking I'm stupid. I am not. I know what I'm doing. They don't know my plans.
They must think I'm just after the money. Maybe that's better. Surely, at least one of them understands that we don't all want the same thing. Some of us are happy to get money for Dolce and Gabbana, Gucci and Pradas. Actually, it will be great if they think I have someone else on the side.
But you know you want love, says the voice. You want him to change. He can't possibly love you if he's sleeping around.
"Oh, shut up!" I said. "He does love me. He just needs a variety for sex. It's not love with these other women."
Hell! I'm talking to myself. I look around to see if anyone is close enough to hear me. That's lucky of me. I have to be careful. No one must know of my plans.
YOU ARE READING
Crazy to stay sane
Cerita PendekWith my husband's indiscretions - his unashamed philandering - should I do everything in my power to stay sane or should I give in to insanity? Whatever I choose, I know that I must do what's necessary to make sure no one knows what's in my head.
