He looks at me right in the eyes. He touches my bare arms.
"Why are you doing this to me?"
I was afraid that he might asked me that question. I hate doing this to him but I have to.
"I don't love you. I never did. It was a dare. I got dragged by my own act but I finally woke up. As simple as that. It isn't that hard to understand." Then I drop my gaze to the ground.
I finally said it. The words I've been practicing all night finally came out. Tears in my eyes welled but I hold it in. He can't see me crying. He might know I'm lying. I have to act strong. Yes, I have to act strong.
"Don't fucking lie to me. I know that your love for me is true. Don't lie," His voice is shaking. His eyes is teary. He never cried in front of me before. I don't know what to do. I'm bearly moving. I am literally stoned.
"Hey, you know what? This is not my fault. Not even close. It was you who was stupid enough to fall for me and be all lovey dovey. I was just playing my fucking part. Now which part is this that you don't fucking understand?"
I can't believe I was shouting at him. Those word just flowed out of my mouth as if I really mean it. or do i?
"Look at me, Emma. Look at me right in the eyes and tell me that you really don't love me Then I swear you won't see me again after this." Fuck. I'm screwed. I can't do this or he'll notice I'm lying.
All of the sudden, my chest aches. I almost fall. Darn it, it's almost midnight. "Derek, please take me home. I'm not feeling so well."
"What? We're not finish talking yet."
"I beg you please take me home. We'll discuss about this later, I promise."
"No, I want this bullshit to settle now!"
"Ahh!" my heart feels like it's going to burst. Suddenly I feel like the world is spinning and slowly fading. My eyes are shutting. I could hear the sound of Derek calling my name but it sounds like he's miles away. This pain is unbearable.
