Chapter 4
I'm just standing there love struck by what just happened when Rocky sees me and says "You okay?" I smile wider and walk to my room ignoring his question. I hear Rocky walk away. I close my door and flop on my bed and scream into my pillow. Maybe he likes me! I scream again. Don't get me wrong. I'm screaming of excitement. I grab my phone and tweet "I'm in love..." people immediately tweet back "who" but I don't respond. I put on my headphones and listen to Same Love,again, I hum along and stare up at the celling. This song speaks too me. I have tried to kill myself for being gay. I roll up my sleeve and run three fingers over my cuts. I hate myself for being gay. I also hate myself for loving my older brother. I roll my sleeve down and unbutton my pants and unzip them. I roll my pants down my legs and put them on the ground. I slowly roll down my boxers and take off my headphones. I put my boxers near my pants and look at the cuts on my thighs. I sigh and take my shirt off. I slowly grab my private member. I rub the tip with my finger. I bite my lip trying not to moan. I gently start to rub myself up and down. I close my eyes shut. I moan slightly. I go faster and moan louder. I imagine Riker and moan really loud. I hear my door open and my eyes open to see Riker.
