The Beginning, I Guess

1.The Ugly Truth

I was walking all alone and I feel that I am shuttered and I don't know where to go or anything. Today is the worst day of my life the bad things are all coming at once. I am walking in the street with no one caring about me. I don't have anywhere to go. I am just walking alone.

Then suddenly I heard someone slowly walking behind me. He walks when I walk and stops when I stop. At first I didn't care because who would look at someone like me anyway. Then the sound was still there even after like half hour that's when I got really scared I was even scared to look back. Then I remembered that there is nothing to lose because I lost everything in my life already. I was so tired too; I kept walking for like more than 3 hours.

Then I remembered the one who is still walking behind, suddenly a guy of just my age appeared in front of me. I was so shocked and I didn't know what to do.

He was tall and he had such nice eyes. I actually kept admiring him for a couple of minutes before I could speak a word.

Then he said to me, "what are you doing here alone? It is not safe to walk here."

I said," and who are you?"

He said," well apparently I am no one. But I just wanted to tell you it is not safe."

And then he left. I was really so scared especially after the words that he said. But then I was so sad that I couldn't think of anything other than what had happened to me in this whole year.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~1 year ago~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today is my first day of my second high school year I have always spent my whole school days studying really hard. I didn't make any friends as I thought that it is not that important. I have always gave all my time to just studying.

When you see me and my sister you will never think that she is my twin. I and my sister are completely different. She really takes care of herself and she is really beautiful, while I am just completely the opposite.

Today, I didn't wake up so early. I just waked up before school by a couple of minutes. And I just wore a long sleeves blouse with loose pants and my glasses.

When my sister saw me, she just opened her mouth wide and told me," what the hell are you wearing? Like how old are you seriously?"

I just looked at her and saw her wearing a mini skirt with an elegant purple blouse and beige scarf and full make up. I replied, "well I am just going to study nothing more."

She said," oh, poor you, Kayla. You don't have any fun in your life."

I said, "well I have fun but in other things, rose."

Rose said," well I won't debate with you now."

And when we arrived at school my sister, rose, went in her way and I also went in my own way. I spent the whole day alone just going from a class to another. When we returned I entered my room immediately and started studying.

Most of the days were pretty the same until that day came. The day when everything begun. Someone just so handsome sat next to me. I really couldn't concentrate in my class because of him. My eyes were all on him. Apparently all the others had all their eyes on him too.

But actually I liked him a lot. I never cared about love and or anything like that before. I only read about that in fairytales but I never felt anything like how I feel now. But like I said, everyone almost had a crush on him.

But actually I liked that feeling I have when I am near him. And for the first time I started writing about a crush in my diary. I tried to take care of myself like any girl would do if she is in love. But when I failed to do so, I thought that if he loves me he will love as I am. So I didn't try to change myself.

One day when I was writing in my diary, my sister saw me and she insisted on knowing what I was hiding. I told her about my crush, and she laughed out loud when she heard me, which made me lose my confidence.

But he just gave me a nice feeling that I didn't want to lose even if I knew that there is no possibility for us to be together.

Surprisingly, after a couple of days Rose started to encourage me to confess to him. At first I was shocked to find her encouraging me after she humiliated me when I first told her. But I liked how she cared about me and how she encourages me. I didn't have any friend to talk to or to share my burdens with. So I was so happy that my sister begins to care about me.

I didn't know anything or how should I act. But rose kept giving me advices as she had many experiences in dating. Until one day she said, "You have to confess to him like you have loved him all the year secretly. So it is time for you to bring it to light."

I said, "But what can I do? I can't just go and tell him that."

Rose said, "Well I have an idea. How about you go to his birthday party and tell him that you love him in it?"

I said," but he didn't invite me so how would I go?"

She said," well don't worry about that I will convince him."

And then his birthday came and I tried to dress as pretty as I can. And I just put some light make up. I wanted to go there with rose. But she told me that she had to go there earlier.

When I arrived there, the place was just so crowded and I was so scared. My sister kept giving me signals with her eyes to go and tell him. Until I gathered all my strength and I stood in front of him and I said as loud as I can with my eyes shut tightly as I was so embarrassed," I REALLY LOVE YOU LUKE. I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART."

Suddenly all the crowd burst in a great laughter and Luke ,my crush, ran to me and he held my arms tightly and he lead me outside and he told me quietly but fiercely, " what do you think you are doing? How do you think anyone could look at someone like you? I don't want to ever see your face again."

Then he left and I started crying. And I went to my sister's arms hoping that she could comfort me. But when I ran to her, she just shouted at me and said, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? I AM ASHAMED THAT I HAVE A SISTER LIKE YOU."

Her words actually surprised me but broke me more. Which let me very shuttered and let me walk in scary streets that I have never walked into before.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~present time~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And then I came back from my memories. And I decided that I should listen to that man's advice and I should hurry out of that place so I can return at least safe from that place.

But all my hopes faded away when I saw a drunken old man coming towards me, I became so scared and didn't know what to do. But the only fortunate thing that happened today was that I saw that previous boy appear again beside me and holding my arm and walking with me, he was trying to protect me from that old man.

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