Before you (l.sau)

(3)

It's Christmas , the bitter smell of burning wood and a small house full with family ,laughter and children running wildly with their new presents - they show anyone who passes and the adults indulge them of course .

"Santa clause is the best ."

They laugh at Santa' s name before running off to find their next victim , he sits there with a bright smile and he can't wait for next Christmas , can't wait for his little one to enjoy with wild family and friends but for now the small clothing handed to him is enough - notes that at least they haven't forgotten about his little one who's still baking and protected by his warmth .

He leans into the arm beside him , lets a soft sigh when a hand rubs his stomach in a soothing motion and it's all gentle ,so fucking gentle that he closes his eyes with a blissful smile .

The Christmas color dress looks disgusting in his opinion , for his stomach bulges out but the figure whispers that their baby is safe there - that he's carrying such a wonderful gift that he can't help but to be in good spirits even with the dress .

They tangle themselves together , disappears into their own world and its magical , married for two beautiful years and now a little one on the way seems like a nightmarish dream - that one of them will wake up and all this will be nothing but a sick joke .

The figure kisses his cheek and raises its hand , its bigger then his - much more warm in his opinion and he can't help but to lift a finger and move it against the smooth skin with a giggle .

If love is destined to die ,if love is promised to fail , if love is nothing but a myth they would die before allowing that to happen - they would rather die tangled in bloody limps then to witness the latter -witness walking out on each other .

It's a deep promise ,a promise the figure whispers when holding him in the shower .

The water soaking the figures hair " I'd die before falling out of love with you ." Hands tugging at wet skin and marks painted bright red but they refuse to care ,they refuse to let this moment go unnoticed.

"Are you ready for the baby ,wish we could know the gender ." A friend speaks up ,pushing the figures feet away so they have a spot to sit - it's a friendship that will never end and that's part of the appeal and also discussion on who will be the god parent .

He kicks at the friend ,gentle , because everything his does is so fucking gentle that it hurts - the only time he is rough is when clinging to the figure tightly as they make love or simply wanting to be close ...it's much needed .

" we want it to be a surprise when the baby is born ." He explains for the thousandth time , that actually becomes weary of the same question .

The night moves on , family gushing over their new arrival soon and how beautiful his stomach is that's he glowing and the figure agrees ...agrees that the man is absolutely glowing .

He's perfection , written in fine needle pointed black ink ....perfection .

" tired ." He whispers on the chest , he tugs at the black shirt and his eyes are masked with heavy like paste for the sleep overcoming him .

The figure chuckles holding him impossibly closer and rubs down his back " go to sleep baby ."

I wrote a story different then the loved consumed man , it was written out of pure anger - he killed so many and left nothing in his wake .

I didn't know I how I wanted the book to end , do I simply write him off ,jail , death or freedom - I truly couldn't decide but I knew that his meaning was endless and with that thought I closed my book , left it on my counter and never published it for the world ... he was only for me , his killing was for me and no one else should know about him .