Saving The Gangsta

f o u r

t a y l o r 

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Be wicked. Be brave. Be drunk. Be reckless. Be dissolute. Be despotic. Be an anarchist... Be anything you like. Live- live fully, live passionately, live disastrously.

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I remember warning Cleveland to not leave the house. Her disobedience seems to shine through as I watch her climb down the tree adjacent to my room.

I climb out after her, grabbing a dark hoodie as I did so. Following her silently, I notice how she appears to examine everything around her. Cautiously and carefully getting an idea of the area we were living in.

She stopped, in a place distinctively familiar to me. A violent display of steel-blue stared mischievously around, a troublesome smirk aligning her face like the grandest of diamonds.

Astrid Cleveland was not born to be imprisoned.

And despite my continuous efforts to keep her in the house, a part of her just begged for an escape, even it was just for one night.

It's human nature to be free. And no matter how long a person tries to be good, you can't keep a human being tied down.

She stood idly in the remains of an abandoned amusement park, left littered and isolated amongst the fallen remains of the war. The place used to be embellished with hue's of vibrant colors and shreds of hope and happiness, yet now it was the perfect exhibit of how disastrous war could be, ruin's of black and grey conquered a place where so many people used to find joy.

A single bottle lay rest in her hand, having appeared from the depth of her bag, half the liquid still remained untouched by her pink lips.

She wasn't as simple as everybody wanted her to be.

Catching her eyes, I stared into the depths of her soul. A relentless fire of rebellion danced passively in the icy darkness, contradicting all thoughts of coldness and bitterness in her mind.

I have killed more people than I'm aware of, despite my young age and obvious desired features. I was taught to crave the pain of bloody knuckles and embrace the screams of fear.

I have a demon inside of me that I can not remove; He is ruthless and callous. Easily angered and volatile. Born from the horrors I'd witnessed and experienced. 

But every second I see the Steel-Eyed Beauty, my demon wants to submit. He wants her- He needs her.

She was starting something in me that I can't seem to avoid. But she was a mystery, a danger perhaps.

"Don't you ever feel lonely living in your own little world?" I spoke without thinking twice, partnering my words with a small furrow of my eyebrow.

Her head tilted slightly, causing her raven hair to lie across her shoulder. "Don't you feel powerless living in everyone else's?"

"You're a mystery to me, Ms Cleveland."

My soft words caused a smile to illuminate her face delicately.

"My heart and mind have always been at war with one another, Valentine. For as long as I can remember, I've always felt different from everyone else, so I decided to fall in love with my imagination instead. Is that such as bad thing?" She took another sip of the intoxicating drink, allowing herself the freedom that the drink brings us.