Disproving Calculations - Part 1

Another Night

[Some more.. yeah.. snogging and stuff]

(Back at Zack's)

We go back to Zack's apartment, after Angela gave me enough signs, to even make Zack understand we should go.
"They will have sex now, right?"
"Yep."
I look at him, he doesn't notice. Oh, I wouldn't mind taking the next step as fast as the last ones, but I fear, that won't happen. First, he has to learn to have fun with that stuff. Being more relaxed.
"If you would sleep here, at my place again." He starts...
"Then what? Zack, I told you, we don't have to do anything we, or one of us, doesn't want to do."
"So..." we stand in front of the door. I smile up to him. Yes, please.
"Do you want to stay another night? I think it's really exciting, not to spend the weekend alone. I don't even want to keep on building my model plane..." I shut him with a kiss.
"What you want to do then?" I at least can have a little fun, right?
"So, you stay?" Oh, I confused him.
"Yes, I stay."
"Then, I would suggest to go inside." I laugh and follow him. I want to put on my pajama pants again, I hate wearing jeans... In the morning, Zack changed in the bathroom, I stayed in the living room. But, I actually could need a shower.
"You think I could take a shower?"
"Um, sure. You'll find everything you could need in the bathroom, I think."
"Alright." I kiss him on his cheek again and take my little over-night-bag with me, letting him sitting there.

He thinks. He thinks about how he always has no idea what to do, but somehow now has a girlfriend. And she takes a shower in his bathroom. He knows Hodgins would say something like "Don't you want to take a shower with your girlfriend?" But wouldn't that be weird? What is weird, what is not? Hodgins is always about sex, when it comes to talking about a woman. But he wouldn't give him any good advice, only this Kamasutra book. He's sure, that's not how 'normal sex' works. And it doesn't help, anyway. He knows, he wants to sleep with her. But he can't. He would screw up. It's not becoming easier, when he always hears Naomi saying it was 'terrible' as soon as he thinks about sex. What seemed to happen more often, since he knows Ilyana. She probably has a plan, what to do. But he wants to know about that plan as well.

When I finished, brushed my hair and put on new underwear, I realize I forgot the comfortable pants and shirt. I put my head through the door.
"Zack, would you mind passing me my clothes? Right next to you."
Robot-like he takes my clothes and brings them. I didn't want to leave the warm bathroom without more than underwear and a towel. As soon as he passes me my stuff, I drop the towel. It's not like I was naked, it's like a bikini, right? But he covers his eyes. "Uhm, Zack. You're allowed to see me like this." I giggle. "If you want to.", I add. He takes down his hand and tries to concentrate on my face. Very unsuccessful, but he tried. I just put on the clothes.
"So, what are we going to do?"
"It's not that I don't want to have sex with you, you know. I want, really. But I always hear Naomi saying, I was terrible and I don't want to screw up and I asked everyone, but no one told me how this all works." O-kay.
"Zack, I told you, it's okay. We'll find a way how it's fun for both of us. You know, there are a lot of ways to... um, yes... I don't know. Practice?" He turns red. I probably did too.
"We have time, I can wait."
"I thought you might know, how to help me."
"I do." I can't hide my grin. "You know... we can just start with something you can, and then see where it goes. When it's enough, you say stop. So will I, alright?"
"Something I can?"
I sigh. "Come." I take his hand again, leading him to the couch. He would probably be more nervous, if I'd chosen the bed.
I make him sit down on the sofa. I again sit above him, but keeping myself up. There is a distance between our bodies. He's nervous again. "What do you want me to do?"
"You do, what you want to do. Listen to that something inside you again, you did at my place, you remember?"
"Yes."
"And, no word about Naomi, okay? This is between us. She has nothing to do with it, don't forget that." He nods.
We start kissing. After a short while, he's completely in the mood. Then he stops for a moment.
"Can I ask you something? It has nothing to do with Na...."
"Alright."
"Can I... um..." He holds up his hands with that 'I have no idea'-face. Oh...
"Try it, Zack. I'll tell you, if I don't want something, I won't be mad at you, I promise."
"I can try everything?"
"Everything you want." I don't expect any creepy preferences.
The first thing he does is pulling my head down again, to kiss me. Wow. This genius is sexy. I still wonder, what Naomi did wrong. That's actually the most awkward thing right now: What I think about. I look what he's doing. Like I thought before, completely in the mood. He still has one hand on my cheek, the other on my hip, I'm sure Angela told him, that was a safe position. Good enough, for the beginning, I think. His eyes are closed, I like watching him, while we make out. I again put my hand in his hair. No stroking, it's just there. Maybe I pulled it a little. He puts his other hand on my hip and pulls me down. Wow. Good, that he doesn't seem to know what 'foreplay' is. If he would know, he would surely be more nervous...
So, now that I don't have to carry my weight anymore, I like it even more.
I'm a little disappointed to know, that this will probably end without happy ends, but it's okay. More excitement, right? While my right hand is busy with his face and hair, I 'somehow lost control' about my left one, which 'suddenly' moves from his chest, down to the bottom of his shirt. I hold on, because he does. He looks at me, but doesn't say anything. I sneak my hand under his shirt, pulling it up a little. He's really strung up now. But he lets me do it, and I think I don't try to go further. To my surprise, I realize his hands wander, too. He explores everything, at least everything, what I think he's not afraid of. What means everything, but not the girly parts. Either the upper ones, or the down ones. Oh boy, the one part of him is so ready for this and that doesn't make it easier for me.
He suddenly stops. "Wait."
"Did I do something wrong?"
He smiles "Usually I say that."
"Now, I'm asking. Did I?"
"No, yes... No. You just... your hand in my hair, you know."
"Did I hurt you?"
"Um... no, maybe a little, but..." Oh, I see. He needs a break. His brain is fighting against everything else of him. I sit back a little, still on his lap. "So, this isn't that bad, right?"
"Right." He's still smiling. Then he shrugs "My legs sleep."
"Oh, sorry." I let me fall down next to him, leaning my head to his shoulder.
"You know, I'm happy you feel good enough with me, that we can do this."
He thinks a moment. "I'm not quite sure what to say. You know, actually I have no idea what is going on." That makes me laugh. "For that" I manage to say "you're doing really well. I want to see what happens, when you finally know, what's going on."
We share a moment in silence.
"You want to watch a few episodes of firefly, before going to bed?" I then ask.
He smiles. "You like it?"
"I do." We spend the next two hours watching firefly, talking from time to time. And this time, he plays with my hair. "It's so long" he says.
"Yes, right?" I like my hair. "But it's not as soft as yours."
"I think, it's beautiful." Wow.
"Thank you." Did I just blush?
"Hodgins said, I was supposed to share my blanket with you." That was a subject-change.
"You don't have to. We can do that, but we don't have to."
"I'm glad you think so. Because, I believe I'd rather have my own blanket. Until I may find a system in what you do at night."
"What do I do at night?"
"You rolled from side to side, putting your leg out of the bed, over the blanket, back under it, waved your hand..." I've always been an active sleeper.
"I waved?"
"Something like that, I don't know." He really doesn't. But, who cares.
"Sorry?"
"I'm sure you don't do that on purpose, as you're sleeping when you do it." Right.
"So, we go to bed now?" Okay, I'm always surprised, but this time, I really fear I'm already dreaming.
He stands up, pulling me up and close to him "Doesn't mean we need to sleep, right?" He adds and I'm speechless. This smile. Does he know how sexy that is? How he looks down to me... He sure saw it in a movie... I wrap my arms around his neck and he already learned, what that means. We end up in his bed and somehow, it's only underwear now for both of us. This guy has a lot of catching-up to do, and he does it. We come the closest to 'real sex' you can, while wearing underwear. Still close enough. This Naomi had no idea. Doesn't she know the mirror game?
We lay under our own blankets now, face-to-face. He seems to be thinking.
"Do you think about something?"
"Yes."
"You want to ask something?"
"Yes."
"What is it?"
"What exactly did we do, one of these sex-but-not-real-sex-things? And am I allowed to tell Hodgins? And did I good?"
"Yes, yes, when I can tell Angela, and yes." He was. I really needed to explain a lot of things, but that was okay. It wasn't for nothing.
"Really?"
"Yes, really." I giggle. Don't ask me why. "Believe me. It was great." He seems to be very, very happy with that. All this guy needs is a little bit more confidence. He rolls over, laying face-up. I again kiss him on the cheek.
"Good night, Zack."
"Good night, Ilyana. And thank you, for the practice." I just smile and ruffle his hair, then I take his hand into mine and fall asleep.

We have breakfast with a nice conversation, before I finally need to go home on Sunday. It's not like I wouldn't need to do anything for university-courses, and he has to work on Monday. He, Angela and Hodgins bring me home. He kisses me goodbye on the sidewalk in front of the bar, right in sight of Angela and Hodgins. I don't care, he doesn't seem to do so neither. After five minutes, Hodgins honks impatiently and then Zack is gone. I had a lot to do, but before that, I would have to think about what happened. And how. The first three days with Zack were... let's call it exciting.