Letters To You: Dear Anxiety

Epilogue

Aleah was trembling. Her whole body shaking uncontrollably like a ping pong ball being batted round and round. Then she saw Luke walking up the green hill.

Aleah had been waiting there, next to the school's football field. She was determined to talk to him today, and was forcing herself to push through the anxiety. It was harder than she'd anticipated.

The letter was clutched tightly in her hands. She had folded it crisply four times, after reading it over again and again.

Luke was close enough now that she could see how well his eyes matched the clear blue sky. He looked almost as nervous as her.

With a crooked smile at her, Luke sat down cross legged on the grass. "Aleah," he muttered, "what's been going on?"

Aleah suddenly couldn't speak. She blinked a few times before remembering the letter in her hands, and thrust it out to him.

Luke glanced at it, then back up at her, and took it tentatively. He unfolded it, and furrowed his brow as he read, lips unconsciously forming the words on the page.

Even when it was clear he had finished reading, Luke continued to stare at the page. Then, finally, he folded it and placed it down next to him. Luke looked up, eyes rimmed with red.

Aleah's heart started to beat faster. "Oh god, Luke. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have-oof" She was cut off when he tackled her in a nearly bone crushing hug, burrowing his face in the crook of her neck.

Aleah wrapped her arms around him as well. She had almost forgotten how a hug from Luke could make almost anything better.

"You do not need to apologize, Le," Luke promised, not moving away.

"But you must be so-" she started to protest.

"No," he cut her off, always knowing what she'd say next. "No, I'm not mad at you. I could never be mad at you."

Aleah breathed in the scent of her best friend. He smelled like soap and cologne and boy, familiar and comforting. "Didn't I hurt you?" she asked softly.

Luke pulled away, but placed his hands firmly on her shoulders, staring straight into her eyes. The tears had spilled now, and were running down his cheeks. "It's not your fault, Le. You were- you are going through so much. You never meant to hurt me."

There it was. No, she didn't meant to, but she had done it. Aleah grabbed his wrists. "But I still hurt you. Luke, you don't have to be my friend anymore, if you don't-"

"Fuck, Le." Luke's blue eyes were dangerously fierce. "Never say that again. You're my best friend and I love you. Anxiety is a part of you, and I'll help you however I can."

Aleah had finally started crying too. "How long will that be, Luke? I don't- I don't know if I can keep living like this."

"You can. Of course you can. Look, there's something I've never told you." He glanced away from her and started to bite his lip- a nervous habit she recognized all too well. "Last year I- I was actually diagnosed with depression. It's hell, and I've been hiding it from you because I didn't want you to worry about me. But now that I know you have anxiety, we can work through this together. Right?"

"Right," Aleah replied, not hesitating for a second.

"I know how much it sucks to fight with your mind every day," he went on. "Sure, we're a little different. But we're both messed up."

"That's why we work so great together."

"Really? I thought it was just your dashing good looks and my impeccable charm," Luke teased.

"The conceited comment really wears on that 'charm' of yours," Aleah rebutted, starting to feel a weight lift off her chest.

"Was that sarcasm I sensed?" Luke laughed lightly. "What I meant originally, is that you're stronger than I could ever hope to begin being. You're not a shell of a person, Le. You are alive and vibrant and real. You've got this. If I can fight through depression, you can fight through anxiety."

Aleah squeezed his wrists. "Well, we're not fighting alone."

Luke gently brushed a tear from her cheek with the pad of his thumb. "We never will be, Le. I swear, we never will be."

The End