ONESHOTS

Love(d) [Jalex]

Jack's POV

I had those urges again this morning. And i'm on tour. I practically live in a moving vehicle. I can't really hide my scars or tears right? But i did. I hide my tears, under the falling warm water as i took a shower. No body seems to notice my red nose and slight puffy eyes. Especially not Alex. About my scars, i haven't go that far. Yet.

Oh yeah sorry, if you are a fan you probably know what "Jalex" is right? yeah that's a ship name of me and Alex. I don't know why but for me. Personally, i want Jalex to happen. I love Alex since the day we met. I like his outgoing self, his bubbly face when he laughs, his voice when he sings. I just love everything about him. He told me he love me once. But, not anything comes as what we expect right?

Turns out Alex doesn't love me like what i was thinking. Well for starters, he brought a bimbo to our bus 3 days ago. I really hate to say this but she is pretty, even though her boobs are fake. But her face is not, it is as natural as it can be. And her hair, you would think that she has a blonde hair right? you thought wrong. She has this beautiful long raven hair. And i envy her. Because she can has Alex, when i am here can not. And i'm not pretty like her.

I just finished getting ready to go to the main hall. Soundchecks. It is pretty boring, i'm telling the truth. Why would a soundcheck be boring? I'm sure that question will going around your pretty little head guys. But it is boring, imagine you do the song over and over again for over what six months? a year? honestly i'm tired of being in a band. But i can't see myself without All Time Low, and not being on Alex's side.

As i got to the main hall, i see the bimbo with Alex chatting..or more like shoving each other's tongues in their throat. I just walked past them with my head bowed down. I can't look at them hell i can't even think bout them being together! I pulled my act together and grabbed my guitar. We start to played a song or two, then we're done. And we gotta wait another forty-five minutes in the lounge room. Where i have to again see Alex and the bimbo.

I got the lounge room pretty fast, grabbed a (couple) of beer(s) then sat at the sofa. Five minutes later i heard chit-chat, and boom the whole crew was in here. I keep to myself and not talking much. Cause i don't really trust my voice right now. I can hear Alex praising her, and her sitting on Alex's lap. It used to be me, to act out our bromance thing. It all changed because of her.

I started to feel like my heartbeat going really fast. And my hands shaking. I noticed that Zack caught my act.

"Hey, hey Jack you okay man?" He sounds so concern. I didn't mean to worry everyone!

"I'm okay buddy just a lil headache. It'll gone soon. I'll be back Zack."

"Okay buddy." His voice is unsure. I knew it. But i just ran to the bathroom.

As i got to it, i locked the door and slid down the door. I don't know if i can perform tonight. It's just so emotional for me. It hurts to see him like other girl. Who is by far prettier than me, skinnier than me, and she's more happy than me. I'm just a depressed, self-hate bestfriend of Alex's. He won't love me back. Of course he lied when he said he love me. It was just because so i can keep fighting on my deathbed. When i attempted suicide. It all just an act. He loved me. Not love.

And it all come crashing down on me. He doesn't love me. He has a girlfriend. He loved me. It was all an act. I start rummaging through my wallet, i search for that little piece. Who can bring me into ease. I suddenly poked my finger on it. And i feel the blood comes out. I smiled, and start to taking it out of my wallet.

I rolled up my sleeve, to see many scars littering it. None are new tho, but i'll make it right now. As i push the razor to my skin, and dragged it down my arm. I feel relieved. Like i need to hurt myself. To know that i will always be that kind of guy. Who hurt himself, because no one will love him. Or like him. Even the fans sometimes humiliate me, they all love Alex, Zack and Rian. But not me. Moreover, they sometimes still hate-tweet me. I don't know what  i did, but i'm sure it's all my fault. They're agreed to a couple of things tho.