Save My Love (SinRin)

Chapter 26: I'm Not Giving Up On You

"Where do you think she went?"

"She can be anywhere in the world but I remember her mentioning California."

"Is that why you insisted that they send us here?"

"I know it's impossible to find her but I feel we're close to her if we're here."

"It's been a month. But sometimes I feel she's still with us. In the grocery stores or even when we walk on the streets, sometimes I think I see her, but I can't find her anywhere. There are days when I feel that she's just behind us, I can hear the weight of her steps but when I turn around, I don't see her. It's frustrating."

"I feel the same, eonnie. It's different not having her around. But I'll tell you something, which I think I shouldn't, but I will. Whenever I feel that she's just there, I talk to her." Yerin leaned closer to Sowon's ear and whispered. "Because I know she will hear me."

"You're scaring me! What is she, a ghost? You're making me feel like she died." More than being frightened by Yerin's quirky but truthful revelation, the thought of Joon dying just made her heartsick.

"They told us that she didn't. And I believe them."

"That night before we took them to the hospital, you knew that we won't see her again. How did you know?" The tall leader turned around to lean her back against the rails of the old pier and marveled at the deep blue sky that hovered over the beach of Santa Monica. "You knew something none of us did. I just realized it a few days after as the truth about her slowly unraveled." Her tone suggested jealousy.

"She told me once that if ever she took someone's life, she will have to leave." Actually, taken away is more appropriate, Yerin thought. "I knew when she came back with Sinb, with all that blood..."

Sowon was silent trying to digest the information that partly explained their abrupt parting.

"She would have taken Sinb to the hospital and just called us. But she couldn't leave without saying goodbye."

"And without saying that she was sorry..." Sowon recalled Joon's last words to her. "Has she ever told you that she liked me?"

"I asked her many times and all she answered was, not that she didn't like you, it's just that she couldn't. She always reminded me that she was going leave." She paused for a few seconds. "I just didn't expect that she would leave sooner."

"Somehow I blame myself for what happened that night. If I didn't ask that she'd pick me up, she wouldn't have left the apartment; Sinb wouldn't have been taken, and maybe Joon would still be with us."

"What happened was something beyond anyone's control. If they didn't take her that night, they would have taken her some other time and who knows if worse could have happened. So don't blame yourself. Why did you want her to pick you up that night anyway? You never told me."

"That night I told her that I liked her. I asked why she couldn't give me the two months." Her voice cracked as the scene flashed in her memory. "Little did I know, she won't be able to give me even just a day."

"I thought you've told her before? That you liked her."

"Yeah, once. But I was drunk, she wouldn't have taken me seriously then. And now I know I didn't really need to tell her since she has always understood Korean, so that means I've revealed myself to her so many times!" She covered her face before hitting Yerin on the shoulder. "Aish... It's embarrassing. You should have told me!"

"Haha! Everyone knows anyway, it's too obvious. But at least she gave you an answer before she left."

"Yeah, but that doesn't change the fact that she's gone. But Yerin-ah, how long have you known about her? I mean that she was like a bodyguard or some agent. I don't know what to call her."