Under His Protection

Chapter 1

Chapter One

April 30, 1888 London, England

She'd grown to dislike this time of the day, the children in bed asleep, and all the servants retired for the evening. It was the time of day when she felt the terrible loneliness the most. She was alone with the memories of him, that's how she thought of him now, her late husband. To painful to say his name or even think of him after how he'd betrayed her and their children. This time of night was when they would have share their day with each other before retiring to their bedchamber to make love and fall asleep in each others arms. Now there was no one to speak with about what the children said or did or how she'd spent her time while he was away from their home. For some reason she felt more alone and restless tonight then she had over the past six months.

There was more anger too in her restlessness tonight, anger at how carelessly he'd thrown away their life together. So angry because she'd not been able to rant at him at how foolish he'd been to think money would make their life better than it already was.

She laid down her needlework she couldn't seem to get involved in tonight and rose from her chair to walk toward the French doors leading to the terrace and garden. She opened the doors and stepped through onto the stone terrace, hoping a leisurely walk before retiring would help her sleep. The fresh night air, though chilly tonight, seemed to help shake the memories of him from her head and calm her restless angry mood. This was not the way she thought her life would be, or how she saw her life when she married him.

How could she have been so wrong about a person?

How could she have missed what had been happening around her?

Under her very nose.

Every thing she learned about him after his death had rocked her world, tipped it completely upside down.

Dear Lord how could she have trusted him as she did?

Believed his every spoken word?

As she walked through the garden noting that in a few weeks it would be in bloom with the flowers she'd chosen which her gardener had planted for her. Planting the bulbs and plants had helped take her mind off of the past with him as she tried to plan for the future for her and the children.

This morning she'd taken her wedding band off and placed it in her jewel box. She looked down at her finger and saw the mark left by the gold band. How long the mark would take to fade away, she wondered, or would it show forever, God she hoped not.

She'd told herself after her husband death she would never remarry but after six long months of loneliness she wondered if that had been a rash decision on her part, both for her and the children. She'd even come to envy her friends relationships with their spouses. Spouses they could trust with their very lives and had.

She missed what she thought she once had, could she find it with someone else?

Could she learn to trust a man once more?

Viscount Randall...Mathew had been calling on her and taking her for long walks in the park since she was still in mourning but she wasn't sure just what her feelings were for the man. She didn't feel at this stage in her life that he was the man for her.

She sat down on a stone bench near her beautiful rose bushes to think.

What if she did remarry? Would she choose Mathew or someone else?

He would have to be someone she could trust with her heart and her children's future.

It would have to be someone who would protect her and the children from the gossip that was still circulating around the ton, even though most would never know the true story of what he'd done.