Story Time

The Snake/Vampire/Shark Bite

I am a total clutz.
So, we all should've known that the day I decided I wanted to start skateboarding would eventually lead to a disaster. Disaster struck a lot sooner than I had hoped. By a little sooner, I mean it struck almost immediately. Like so soon that I didn't even know how to skateboard yet.
One night, I'm at the park with my new glittery purple Bratz (I can't even make this up) skateboard. I'm just standing on it because I can't do anything else.
So, my friend decided to do what any good friend would do and offer to push me around on my skateboard so I could, you know, actually move around.
I'm riding along the sidewalk having the time of my life, and then my friend does that thing that parents do when they're teaching their kids to ride a bike. They promise not to let go, but they let go. They always let go.
Unlike in the cute movies where the kid is able to ride by themselves after being released, I was not coordinated enough to ride my skateboard by myself.
A bump appeared in the sidewalk.
I hit the bump.
I fly off the skateboard.
My body slides across the concrete sidewalk.
I stand up and see my entire left arm covered in blood. The road burn was real.
So this incident isn't actually the story I want to tell. It's how my family decided to deal with it that really gets the laughs.
I go to third grade the next day with my entire arm wrapped in bandages, so of course everyone wants to know what happened to me. My family decided I should have some fun with my new battle wound.
What does my dad want me to tell people? I got attacked by a shark.
My mom? I got bit by a snake.
My brother? I got bit by a vampire.
Needless to say, everyone in my third grade class got a different story about how I hurt myself.
But long story short, I am scarred for life (literally I have a scar that looks like Africa on my wrist)  and refuse to get on another skateboard.