More Dead than Alive (A Victuuri fic)

Emotions

A/N: Hey sorry for not updating in a while. I have musical practice everyday after school until 7:00 and that's been consuming my time quite a bit. I was going to update last week, but then my school got a bunch of threats about a shooting so I was too stressed to write. Sorry!

As always, thank you for reading!

CH 5.

We walked in silence down the bustling city streets. I noticed that we did a lot of that- walking in silence, and thousand yard stares. The hat on my head obstructed some of the view, but I didn't mind. It was a small price to pay to be able to witness the human experience at work. Everything around me was a wonder. Everything completely and utterly new. Every laugh I heard felt like a drum in my chest, every voice like a twinkling of bells. It was all so vibrant, so bright, so purely alive.

I think I loved humans.

And not the stupid, pointless love like a toddler has for a toy truck, or what a teenage girl feels for her first crush. But a true love. A real love. A love that I felt burn with passion in every part of me, from the tips of my toes to the heart that apparently beat in my chest. Utter infatuation. I loved everything about everyone I'd seen so far, from the kindness of Viktor's heart to the cruel eyes of Yurio. My heart panged with longing, to be a part of their way of life- to actually have a life with humans.

It was an odd thing I supposed, especially considering how many people genuinely hated the human race. It had its faults, yes, corruption and crime and hatred. But I had my own faults too, namely eating humans. Humanity was something intangible to me. Something bright and shiny like a gemstone, gleaming and present and always there. Always a beacon of hope for everything I wanted to be, and everything I'd always dreamed of being. The past three years of my life had been hell. Total hell. Burning brimstone, torture, and despair. Living amongst the undead, rotting, thoughtless zombies really made me open up my eyes to the miracle that was being alive.

To the miracle that was the tiny faint heart beat in my chest.

If I closed my eyes and focused I could almost feel it. The ghost of a beat, as my heart whispered deeply in my chest pumping blood through my veins. As my heart unknowingly gave me the best gift I'd received in my death- a second chance at life. Viktor had saved me, and my heart had revived me- what a wonderful life I was living.

What a wonderful life.

Life!

I was alive! Well, at least a little bit. Some small part of me was clinging onto life with a determined resilience refusing to let go, through all the pain and starvation and disease, my heart had prevailed. My body hadn't failed me as I'd previously thought, and for that I was eternally grateful.

The realization that soon I would be human thrilled me, it was a totalwave of ecstasy that shot down my spine and ran to my toes, overwhelming me. It took all my patience to not grab Viktor's hand and run out of the walls right then and there, not waiting for the sun to fall and rise again before starting the journey of the beginning of my life.

Viktor must've been able to tell about my impatience. Maybe my stiffened shoulders gave it away, or my constant glances to the walls towering over the city. He reached out a hand indistinctly and grabbed my own fidgeting fingers. The sudden touch relaxed me almost at once. I felt my shoulders sag and my heart flutter. I tore my gaze from the borders of the city to look at him instead.

He was worried. I could tell. I knew he was trying to hide it though. His unease peeked through his eyes like the sun through the crack in an open door. His face was bright and shiny, his mouth a smile drizzled with joy. He was trying to be happy for me, I know.