Why I Think I'm Not Good Enough For Comedy

-One-

well this is supposed to be notes. i guess i can let my feelings out here without anyone spreading fake rumors and twisting my words. i feel like im not good enough to some people.

see, i want to be a musical comedian. my inspiration is Bo Burnham, and always have been. he's incredibly talented and is the most relatable comic you will ever see in your entire life.

what i would do to meet him is literally anything. i would eat carrots, and i really really hate carrots.

my family and close friends have always told me ive been hysterical ever since i was a tiny tot. that i would strive to make people laugh, or maybe even make a really emo person be happy for once cough cough. but im being serious.

ive gotten to the point where i think i want to be able to joke about anything, offensive or not, and not be called out for it. turns out wont happen in todays society. the community in the 21st century have disappointed me. anything you say or do is a hate crime. it doesn't add up to me. but that's besides the point.

im listening to one of the most vulgar comedians in the industry. ironic, thinking back to how innocent i was back in the 2000's. well back on topic.

the reason i don't think im good enough is because i know there's tons more people out in this world with the same exact dream i have, and i know some of them work way harder than i do for it.

if i try to talk to an adult about the dream i want to pursue, all i get is a "aww, this is just a phase." hah, typical teenager, wanting to be something she'll never become, ahh entertainment.

numero dos, i think im funny, and i think i have the capability to sing if i work at it just a bit more, but in the long run there are so many other people that can do it in the blink of an eye.

what makes me think i can be funny? what makes me think i am the one who deserves to have her dreams come true? the world may never know who i am, is that scary? what if people think im stuck-up?

or absolutely ridiculous? these type of questions run through my mind constantly, but i want to be able to make fun of mine and other peoples problems without being looked at  as an insensitive prick, you know?

that's why the career of comedy is so hardcore. you have to know where the boundaries are. ive written a few songs about various things and people but I think some of it's dumb. but is "dumb" what the people find entertaining and attention worthy? that's where number three comes in.

material. coming up with decent material is a deliberate thought process. lots of testing. but that's the thing, who would be nice enough to let me try this.

adults? no, i would be seen as a brat who wasn't raised properly.

children? nope, more than half wont get it. i think ill keep it to myself, even though comedy is one way to express yourself in a way people can laugh along with you.

it doesn't make perfect sense, but those reasons are what keeps me down.