A Sword And A Shield

Chapter 3

It was him. The short boy with dark brown, almost ginger hair, big brown eyes which seemed like they were looking directly at my soul and a smile that wasn't anything like that one before. This one was forced, almost sad. It's what people call smiling with your mouth, but not your eyes. I can tell because I smile the same way.

As he approached us, he waved Vicky hello and she immediately hugged him. I felt a pang of jealousy and sadness, even though I barely even knew this boy. He hugged her back and smiled with that fake smile of his again.
"Here's the poster I told you about," Vicky said chirply.
"Wow, thanks!" He replied, obviously amazed by the picture. He smiled happily and put it in his school bag. He then turned to me and smiled. I could feel the butterflies in my tummy just from him looking at me.

Jesus Christ, you're sixteen and he just looked at you, stop panicking!

He held out his hand and introduced himself.
"I'm Rick by the way. You?"
"Emily. But everyone calls me Em," I said, trying my hardest not to blush and/or panick. But then, he smiled at me. It was the same smile I saw this morning. In that moment, the fear was gone and all I could see were his beautiful and caring eyes looking directly at me, as if he knew everything about me just by looking at me. But it didn't feel invasive though. I felt safe and cared for.

I was woken up from my dream by the school bell announcing the end of the break. Vicky hugged him quickly and ran off with me to the classroom. She wouldn't stop rambling about anime and manga and all this stuff. But I didn't care all that much. All I could think of was him. The way he smiled at me. The caring look in his eyes...

"Em. Em! Emily! Eeemiilyyy!!"

I snapped my head in Vicky's direction.
"What were you thinking about again?"
"Oh, nothing. Did you want something?"
"Of course I do! What do you think about him? He's cute isn't he?"
Yeah, he is. He's the cutest boy I have ever seen. But I can't tell her that, she will laugh at me.
"Yeah, I guess."
"No guessing, he just is! But he's too short for me though.."
Oh yeah, I forgot. Vicky doesn't like anyone that's below her height which is 1.80 meters. Yay, lucky me, because he's about 1.65, just like I am.
I just laughed at her and continued dreaming about him, not focusing on the teacher's rambling about some biology crap.

After the last period, we all went to the lockers to get dressed and to run away from this prison. After I put my coat on, I turned around to see Vicky leaving with Rick. I felt another pang of jelaousy in my chest. But it didn't surprise me all that much.

Of course he would choose her over me. She was cuter, skinnier, funnier and they had much more to talk about. And he spoke to me like once.

Even though I didn't really have the reason to be sad, I was anyway.

Nevermind, one boy you won't have a chance with more. It's not a big deal. I mean, who would choose you? Look at yourself. You are nothing. You are worthless, useless. Nobody cares about you.

With several tears rolling down my cheeks, I went out the school gates, plugged in my headphones with some depressing music and began the repetitive walk home.

When I came home, my parents were arguing again. I've had enough of this. I dropped my bag on the floor of my room and ran outside again. I didn't know where to go, so I just walked without thinking about it.

After a while I ended up on my secret spot. A man-made waterfall on our local river. Of course my legs would carry me here. I climbed over the railing and sat on the edge of a stone floor created to stop people from falling into the water. I dropped my legs and let them dangle in the wind. I felt the droplets of water spraying on my feet and slowly wetting my shoes and the bottom of my jeans. I looked on my hands settled in my lap and let the tears fall on my thighs.

This went on for almost an hour, when I suddenly got a call from Nicole.
"Hi sweetie, where are you?"
"By the waterfall again, why?"
"I have some free time so I figured I could spend it with you, if you want. And I have some amazing news I have to tell you!"
Probably something about some cute boy again.. I could tell from the tone of voice.
"I'm sorry Nic but I'm not in the mood right now. Maybe another time?"
She sighed, "okay, but don't be there for too long, your parents will worry about you."
The hell they will. They never have. The only thing they've ever cared for is themselves.
"Don't worry Nic. Bye."
"Goodbye Em, take care."

I sighed and looked into the distance. It looked like it was going to start to rain soon and since I didn't want to get sick, I got up and went home.