Obsession

Chapter 3

It was only a swift move and he had the box opened just now. It would only take him seconds and he knew what it would contain. Kris ruffled his hair, the weight bothering his chest got worse, making him feel like he'd suffocate any moment. With a growl he let his hand crash down on the kitchen counter. He should slowly come over that. He was maybe only seeing ghosts. He tried to convince himself that there'd be a simple explanation why he had found that box.

With a quick turn he left the kitchen, grabbing the box which he now almost crushed in his hands now. When he slid down on his bed, his confidence was nearly gone again. Though he kept on telling himself that he could do that. Maybe he'd even feel better when he found out that this was just a harmless box with maybe nothing on the inside at all. Despite all those motivating thoughts Kris hands were shaking when he slowly opened the neat loop around the box and threw the black ribbon away. He hesitated before he removed the cap.

His expression turned frightened before it froze. His heartbeat went unsteady and his palms became sweaty, the room began to turn around, his sight suddenly went blurry. For a moment he was sure that he'd throw up. He knew that there was no sense in panicking but he was about to lose it totally. He had put so much effort in all that. Moving so far away, changing his name, dying his hair. He even changed his looks. It was impossible that he could be found. He threw the cap back on the box, quickly throwing it across the room. With a silent sound it landed on the floor after it hit the wall.

Kris leaned back on the couch. He closed his eyes and tried his best to calm down again. It was easier to say that but to actually do it. It took him about half an hour, during which he remained in the same position. Eyes closed, his hands still shaking pressed against his forehead.

Suddenly he shot up. He made his way to the bedroom stumbling, due to the dizziness that didn’t seem to fade. Hastily he began to search through the drawers until he found a small quadrangular box. He had grabbed the small pack and made his way back to the living room, where he grabbed a small object from one of the cupboards, with a swift move of his hand. Plopping down on the couch, he almost ripped the pack of cigarettes open. He hadn’t been smoking for such a long time but he still had kept this one pack in case he might need it some day again. This day definitely had come now. His hands still not back under control, Kris pulled out a cigarette quavering. After lighting it up and inhaling for the first time again in months he could hardly hold back a cough. With the second time and the third it was easy again.

He remained like that for some time, he had no idea how long it had been but neither did he care. At least he had calmed down again. Kris didn’t know why but he had decided to get up and go to pick the box up again, risking another look inside as soon as he sat back on the couch. Inside was a silver shining ring, he was quite sure that it was actual silver but as if that'd matter. Now his attention was all settled on the small note on the side.

"Happy one year's.."

Nothing else was written on it. Kris would always recognize that neat handwriting under thousands. The way how the 'y' had a slight curl at it's bottom and the old fashioned f. He always had a fable for English.

A quick glance on his phone to check the date and Kris would’ve hit his head against a wall if he'd find the strength to get up now. Soon his hands, which were still holding the note, got wet and just then he realised that he had began to cry. There he was again. Thinking he could start over again. Live a normal life. Have friends and all that. But it seemed to be impossible that he'd never get that. Now every memory that he had locked away all the time came back to his mind. He had tried to forget them so hard but at this very moment, everything came flashing back to his mind.

"I'll never leave you! You are my everything, I love you so much." Tao beamed at him before he gently placed his lips on to Kris'. They were still laying in bed, it was a Sunday morning and they usually spent them together, cuddling in bed until it was noon. Then they'd move to the living room cuddling against each other on the couch. Some days Tao would get up earlier and make breakfast, so they'd have it together in bed. They really were a happy couple. Yet Kris had never thought about how serious the younger would mean those words he told him earlier.

Now Kris didn’t care anymore. A sob escaped from his lips when he threw the box across the room for the second time. It had been one year already since he had fallen for the boy with the raven-black hair. Just today they'd been together for one year.

Kris had broken up with Tao after he caught him cheating on him with some girl. He didn’t knew her, neither did Tao, who was actually pretty drunk back then. Though it had hit Kris really hard, so bad that he'd broken up with his boyfriend. Clueless about what would start from then on. After they had been a couple for nearly five months Tao had been cheating on him, above that with a girl. They didn’t get to celebrate their five months anniversary. Kris wasn’t able to deal with it and forgive the boy, who he still loved back then. Even harder hit him the words Tao had been whispering in his ear when he told him that he wouldn’t be able to forget that and that he wanted to break up. it wasn’t like Tao didn’t apologize, he had been apologizing so often Kris wasn’t able to count it but it wouldn’t help.

During their last conversation Tao had been crying his eyes out, begging Kris to forgive him, for another chance and as much as Kris wanted to forgive the younger. He couldn’t. Little did he know that his life would change into a nightmare, starting from that day on. Tao wouldn’t let him go. First it started with text messages. The younger didn’t seem to accept the break up, acting all like they still were together. He'd hug Kris when he saw him and he'd do everything to see Kris. When he had to realise that Kris owuldnt ever hug him back again, or kiss him like they used to, something in Tao's mind totally snapped. He started to act violent against everyone he'd see touch Kris or just even talk to. When Kris pushed him away, not letting Tao hug him he would also get violent against the boy he loved. Kris would never call it love because Tao was obsessed with him. He followed Kris everywhere he went. He even broke into his apartment once. Kris wasn’t safe anymore. He couldn’t leave his apartment without fearing that his ex-boyfriend would await him and if he would push him away, he'd get all furious and hurt the elder. Kris didn’t dare to hit Tao once. He couldn’t bring himself to fight against the boy who he wanted to protect back then.

After two months of terror the situation escalated. Kris' cousin had come from Canada to visit him and spend one week at Kris' apartment. The week went surprisingly well, mostly because they barely left the house. Kris had become used to that. It scared him only to think about leaving his apartment.

Yet Kris was laying on the couch, all curled up, not able to stop the tears that were still flowing down his cheeks, soon staining his arms on which he had rested his head.

"It was nice seeing you again." His cousin gave him a wide smile, giving his younger cousin a tight hug. Kris returned the hug, until he could feel the elder being pulled away from him. Before he could react he found himself on the ground, a really angry Tao glaring down at him. "No one shall have you, if it's not me!" the younger hissed. Only a few seconds later Kris felt a horrible pain flashing through his side. As in reflex he grabbed his side, not able to make a noise, he reached for air. Soon a hot liquid was flowing over his hands and his vision got blurry. The last thing he saw before he passed out was a slightly smiling Tao.

Still Kris was laying on his side, curled up to a tight sobbing ball. He had finally run out of tears. Slowly he rubbed his thumbs over the scar, covering his right side. Back then he woke up in a hospital, a nurse explaining to him that he got stabbed. Luckily his lungs weren’t constantly hurt and he'd be able to leave soon. In the moment Kris wished for a very short moment that the knife had killed him. It only took slightly longer than one week for him to get his name changed and also he got a new apartment in a part of China, far away from where he lived now. He wouldn't continue to live in fear each day that he might end up dead because he was friends with somebody.

He told himself that he'd never have to fear Tao again, though now he was here. Shaking again in fear. He had found him.