-Jack's POV-
HONK HONK HONK.
Jesus, what the fuck is that? Who changed my alarm to be a fucking goose call? God damn it, Suzy. I open my eyes to be met with the burning sensation that is the hellbeast that people call the sun.
"AAAAAAGHH," I scream as the massive ball of flaming plasma burns my corneas. Guess I'm blind for now. I should really invest in curtains. Or a house that isn't as close to the sun. Maybe both.
I swing my legs over the bed, looking for my limited edition FurCon slippers. The fursona on mine is my Zootopia OC, Rudy Dopps. She's, like, ten times as powerful and smart as Judy. Anyway. I walk to the bathroom and look at my reflection in the dirty, jizz stained mirror. I found that my normal acid green 'do had been swapped out for what looked to be an actual bush. Is that a bird in there? I think it's a bird.
Large bags hung from the corners of my eyes. I should probably unpack those instead of staying up until six in the morning watching the cake farts video. Caaaaake farts. I look down at my t-shirt to find a coffee stain on it. Is that coffee or cat shit? Do I even drink coffee? Who the fuck knows? I switch my mystery stain tee out for a long sleeved grey hoodie that I found at Sear's back in the 1800's. I slipped on my beanie and swallowed my pills.
I walk into the kitchen to find I still have half an hour until I have to be at school. Goddamn Suzy changing my alarms to geese and making me punctual. Bitch better be ready to catch these HANDS. I use the hands that Suzy will soon catch to grab my phone and my headphones so I don't have to listen to another kindergartner on the bus yell, "CASH ME OUSSIDE HOWBOUHDAHHHH". If I hear that one more time, some five year old's gonna be joining Suzy with some hand catchin'.
I wave bye to the family that isn't there. My dad abandoned me because he's off on a quest for mad puss in Vegas, and my mom was a potato. Wait, if my dad's in Vegas, where the fuck am I? What year is it? What the fuck are in these pills? Oh well. At least my dad's potato fuckin' days are over.
"MOVE IT FUCKWAD, OR I'll- Jesus, dude, are you crying? You good, man?" said the shortest, hottest guy I've seen in years. Like damn. Gordon Ramsey's midget pornstar lookalike ain't got shit on this dude. Apparently Dreamy McShortguy made super empty threats, because he pulled me up from where he had previously knocked me over. Wait, what? How the fuck did I get to school? I don't remember walking. This is why you should practice potato abstinence, kids.
I look at the dude, and I'm suddenly conflicted, "Hey, dude, uh, don't take this the wrong way, but are you Asian or Hawaiian?" the dude smiled, looked me dead in the eyes and said, "yes". Oh, okay.
The dude introduced himself as Mark and asked what my homeroom was. We had the same homeroom and somehow didn't notice until just now. That'd be weirder if I could actually pay attention to anything for more than five seconds. Our destiny began with a hot midget dragging me to class, and I'm not sure how the story ends quite yet. We'll see.
