Break through

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Alright guys, right now I need your opinion more then ever. I was thinking I should just rewrite it from scratch. What do you guys think? Tell me what I did wrong, need to improve, and and ect. PLEASE don't just read this then be like. "Welp this isn't a chapter." CLICK!

I've been stump for a while as you can see. I really need your help... Please.

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