The Girl that Wears the Colors

the world is gray

She has, or had, dreams. "It's stupid." She said.
She wanted to see the grand canyon. She didn't want to go on a family vacation or go with friends on holiday. She wanted to go alone. To look out into the walls made of rock hundreds of years old. To experience silence a feel something. Moved, an overwhelming sense of awareness. To be totally honest she wasn't sure what she would feel. "There's really only one way to find out." She's right. She wrote a poem:
I know how I feel. I know a lot of words. It seems to be that the problem is I don't know enough, or the right ones; really the ones I remember don't do justice.
"Gray. These days I feel gray." Those weren't the right words, but until she learnd new ones, or made some up that's what she called it.
The desire to be remembered becomes a tsunami of anxiety. The need to find ones place in the world causes a hurricane of doubt. The presser of "Do your best!" followed by "I know you could have tried harder." brings a tornado of insecurity.
She's trapped inside her thoughts and emotions. They create perfect disasters. Disasters that were not prepared for.

Monday, April 24th, 2017
- Matthew Blake