The last bell

Chapter 3

The clear liquid had just touched my lips when the younger Teacher who had come in earlier, walked in. she said to stop, that we were the last class to have survived. I was going to live. I went back to my seat and Teacher excused us. Teacher seemed upset, I wasn't sure why. Teacher always told us that it was very rude to try and figure out what emotions people were thinking, because you wouldn't want to interpret it wrong.

Me, Alice and Lucas all walked out together. Lucas couldn't stop thanking me. I insisted to him that it was no big deal. When we were out side the School, Alice and I spoke politely about the meaning of sacrifice, as Lucas rushed to go talk to Drew.

"I think that Sacrifice, doesn't have to be the giving up your life," She thought out loud "I think sacrifice is putting yourself out there to give something up"

"Well put" I compliment her, Teacher said it was always good to express our opinions to our friends, but you should never fight over opinions nor should you ever give your opinion to an adult because they deserve respect.

I glanced over at Lucas and Drew, hoping that Drew will come over so we can make plans to go study at the library again tonight, but when Drew looks over his lips are drawn tight and his face is tinted red. I want to talk to him, see why his face has changed. Teacher said that when your face changes, it generally means that your emotion changed. Teacher also said that we should just ask people their emotions, but need to respect their privacy.

Lucas and Drew, stopped talking but instead of Drew coming over Lucas came. I'm sure there is a perfect logical reason for him not coming over. I would ask him later, I wouldn't want to jump to any conclusions before I asked him.

"Drew told me to tell you to meet him to go to the library same time as yesterday." Lucas informed me. I wondered why Drew hadn't come over and I felt a little upset but I was pretty sure Drew wouldn't have wanted me to feel like that.

"Okay, thank you for that." I responded, hoping not to show my feelings were hurt. I did a good job. I did that all the time.

Dinner went quick and my parents, absently let me go, not really caring, except the comments about how I read to much, and I read to much and that I was going to have to stop as soon as all of the Play Offs were over. They didn't understand. Alice was close with her parents, they understood one another. My parents on the other hand, constantly seemed to think something was wrong with me.

Drew and I walked to the library in silence. I could tell something was bothering him, but I am sure if I should ask him. I'm sure he will tell me when he is ready. When we got to the library, he walked quickly between the stacks of books.

We sat down in the chairs that we always sat down. There was a window near where we sat. I hated it. I hated all windows really. It was a reminder how trapped I was.

I look away from the window and at Drew, he seems upset and I decide I have to ask him, "Is something wrong" I talk in my normal soft voice.

"Yes. Yes something is wrong" he said, his voice rough and unbreakable, i don't like when he is angry, i dont say anything. "I know you look up to teacher, but to the point where you agree with her, that loosing your life isn't a big deal?"

I shake my head slowly, this isn't why I did it at all. I wanted to save his brother, i thought he would be proud of me, I had saved his brother, I even showed School that they didnt tell me everything i did. I was proud of myself, why couldnt he be to? This is why I say nothing.

Teacher didn't tell us that we had to keep our feelings in, but I feel like telling your feelings did everything you weren't supposed to. Teacher always told us that we should never make any one feel uncomfortable, and showing feelings made me uncomfortable and I hated that look people gave me. It was the only facial movement I understood, it said that there was something wrong with me, that my opinion was wrong. I guess that was my fear, i was afraid of being wrong. I asked questions, not answer them. That was why I followed what Teacher said. Drew was brave, he just was who he wanted to be. Me, I was scared of myself, scared of being who I was being wrong.

So instead of saying all this I say nothing, just look him in the eyes and feel sad that i cant tell him what I want to say.

"What" he demanded, should I tell him? This was Drew, i could trust him with how I felt, right?

"I thought you would be proud" i skweeked, "I showed Teacher she didn't control me, like you said."

"Yeah, by almost dieing" he said it in a way like I wasn't understanding. But I did understand. I didn't want to die, I wanted to escape.

"I wanted to save Lucas, for you" I didnt understand why he couldn't see the good in this.

"By YOU dieing!?" he said harshly

I look away from him, "Why can't you see the good in this? Why in all this can you only see that I almost died?"

He put his cold palm on my face, pulling my face to look back at him. When I finally looked him back in the eye, he leaned forward and kissed me. I kissed him back but all I could think to my self was what would Teacher think? Teacher told us that touching people other that the simple hand shake, of pressing palms was highly inappropriate, kissing was something you only did with your partner if you survived the Play Offs, not just any guy, especially one who was older than you. But even as I thought of all this, another voice in my head was telling me that this was Drew, and some where in the back of my mind i wondered if i really did like him that way.

He gently pulled away and our eyes opened simultaneously, I could feel my cheeks get warm.

"That is why I don't want you to die" he stood up abruptly, his chair going back with a loud noise and walked out of the library.

It was to much, feeling this new emotion that made my stomach spin, the pressure of the Play Offs, my parents getting farther away, I couldn't deal with it. So i ran away for reality and escaped to a new world. The book I grabbed off the shelf was a sad book about something called cancer, some disease that people used to be able to get a long time ago. The girl in the book under stood me, so I read the book, tangling my self in this impossible world instead of my head ache of a reality.

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A/N hey! Sorry i haven't updated in a while... What you think of Drew and Harley? It is illegal though- just to clear that up. Every one int he book is assigned some one to marry, so they aren't supposed to have feelings for anyone else. Hope that clears that up!

What do you think of Harley being a fan girl!?!?!