bluebird {h.s. - au}

.09

Harry's POV

Ella was so, so different. Different in the sort of way one might not expect; different in the aspect that she was brave and timid. Light and dark. Beautiful and ugly. All at the same time. She was perfectly imperfect- and the best part was, she didn't know how perfect. How flawless she actually was. 

She only knew her mistakes.

When we got out of the tide pool, she tried to cover up her body. The wet dress clung to her body and her hands wandered, trying to find a way to shield my wandering eyes from her curves and imperfections. At first, it was kind of cute, but after a while it was enough. I grabbed her wrists and pinned them to my chest. She squirmed, bowing her head and trying to avert my gaze. "Don't look!" She pleaded, and I frowned.

"Why not?" I pulled her cloer to me; closer than two just friends should be. She stopped moving and wriggling as our breaths melted together. Her hair, stringy and dripping wet, became intertwined with my fingers.

Her eyes met mine, blinking and fluttering. "You know, I think I'm falling for you," I whispered to her.

"Good. Because I'm falling for you, too."

In that moment, only one thought flew through my mind. What am I doing?

*flashback*

"I'm falling for you, Meg," I had whispered to her in the moonlit orchard of Auntie Ida's house. Her wispy, curly hair flew around her face in a halo.

She looked at me, eyes snapping. "No, Harry. Don't. Lock up your feelings for me. It won't ever work out."

She had left the next morning.

*end of flashback*

She moved closer, just as I backed away. Her face was shocked; she looked as though she'd been slapped. "I'm sorry," I said in a gasp that sounded more like a sob.

And then, I ran.

Vaguely, I could hear her calling my name. "Harry!" She called. "I'm sorry! Please wait!"

But I did not stop.

Someone- or, rather, the memory of Meg that I had tried so hard to forget pushed me on until I collapsed in the very spot she had stood all those months before. 

The very place where my heart had been torn to pieces.

Ella's POV

I stood there for a good ten minutes, clenching and unclenching my fists. The fact that I was dripping- no, soaking wet from the stream was the last thing on my mind.

I wanted to be mad at him.

But I couldn't.

For the first time since I had met him, Harry seemed... flawed. Particularly when he apologized to me. There was something fleeting, a regret mixed in with sadness in his eyes. It was the first time any feeling had really come into his green orbs.

But what had it been about?

Was it something I had done wrong? Was my body offensive to him? I wasn't wearing a corset- of course not. Auntie Ida had hid it on me. Was it that bad?

I stomped through the woods, trying to sort out my thoughts. The sun was beginning to set and the wind starting to howl. I started to shiver, rubbing my arms deperately trying to gain some warmth.

But there was none.

This is why you don't love, silly, my consience scolded me. You just get broken. And that sad part is, it was true. All my life, friendship was the proper term for any negation of affection. "Have a fun time with your friend!" Mother had said on my first courting relationship. Even my Mother and Father; they were just... amiable partners. I don't remember them kissing, or showing even the slightest sign of true, genuine love for the other.

Simply friendship.

It occured to me that's exactly where I was now. At a crossroads, waiting for some faraway love to come and rescue me. Because, although I hated to admit it, Elizabeth Marshall: the undefeatable, undeniable Ella Marshall had become the one thing she had never, ever wanted to be.

Ella Marshall had become lost.

Harry's POV

It was Betsy who first claimed it. 

After six, cozied up next to the fireplace, Betsy came up to me and shook her finger in my face. It was shaking with fear. "Now, listen, mastuh," she muttered. "This is goin' be the first time I ain't ever done anything like this, buh lemme tell you straightaway that our Ella can't hold a map in her head."

Realization dawned on me like the striking of the hour on a Grandfather clock. "Well, she ran to the creek with me. I'm sure she'll be fine," I mumbled, embarrassed that I left her at the creeek.

Alone.

"No, mastuh," Betsy said softly. "She honestly can't. I remember- just last year- she ran out into the woods and we had to send a search party for her."

Even with all the memories of Meg stirring around in my head, I stood up and grabbed my coat. This was Ella we were talking about. And she didn't need to pay for my misdoings.

Ella's POV

Most things are forgotten over time.

We’re so caught up in our everyday lives that events of the past are no longer in orbit around our minds. There are just too many things we have to think about everyday, too many new things we have to learn. But still, no matter how much time passes, no matter what takes place in the interim, there are some things we can never assign to oblivion, memories we can never rub away. They remain with us forever, like a touchstone.

Perhaps it had been one of his memories.

Something in his eyes, a dark flash of remembrance, almost. He had remembered her. Of course, I had no idea who her was, and I was not interested in finding out. But I had had enough bad experiences of my own to know that sometimes, it's the memories that drive you past the point of no return.Remembering is easy. It's forgetting that's hard. And, sometimes, forgetting isn't enough. You can paddle away from the memories and think they are gone. But they will keep floating back, again and again and agian. They circle you, like sharks. Until, unless, something, someone? Can do more than just cover the wound.

I supposed I wasn't that someone for Harry.

I lay on the ground, staring up at the sky for who knows how long until a voice called my name. "Ella?" The voice echoed, ricocheting off the trees. "Ella, baby, where are you?"

Part of me wanted to roll over and tell him to go find his baby. But I knew, all too well, that sometimes that missing part of you; the half a heart that you need to survive, is simply lost to the wind and never found.

I sat up and yelled, "Over here, Harry!"

There was a general rush of scurried leaves and branches before he came bounding into my periphiral vision. "Ella," he breathed, rushing over and holding out a blanket to me, then deciding against it and wrapping me in it himself. It smelled like expensive wood and mint.

It smelled like Harry.

He placed a kiss to the top of my head and scooped me up into his arms. I protested, saying, "No! I'm too heavy," but he insisted.

"It was very rude of me to leave you here," he said as we trudged in the forest. 

"It's fine," I yawned, tired from the exertion of being in the forest. "Just don't do it again."

He chuckled as I yawned again. "Go to sleep, baby," he whispered. "I've got you now."

I nuzzled my head into his shoulder and was about to ask him who actually was his baby when a gunshot echoed in the forest.

A/N: Dedication to @chinavase because she puts up with all of my questions and she wrote the best freaking fanfic ever.

Also, sorry for all the POV switches. Ooops.