bluebird {h.s. - au}

.12

A/N: Could we just talk about how often the acoustic covers of songs are better than the originals.

I had no idea what I was doing. I mean, think about it. Here I was, pretty Miss Prim and Proper from Roselands Plantation, dressed in a blue checkered dress that was two sizes too big and shoes that were two sizes too small, sitting beside a man who I loved more than life itself and smuggling a slave that I had owned into Milwaukee.

Let's hear it for Elizabeth Marshall, people.

Harry clutched my waist protectively as we said our goodbye to Auntie Ida that night. Harry made it very clear why we were leaving at night, both to me and Betsy who had no idea whatsoever as to what we were doing. "Think about it," Harry had prodded us through the steps. "Pretend you're a slave catcher. Are you gonna find your slaves better at night or at day?"

It didn't take a genius to figure it out, although Betsy claimed she could find any man who wore black- night or day- by using her maternal instincts, to which Auntie Ida launched into a long and debatable story of Harry getting lost at nine. I followed Harry outside as the two woman; equals, laughed over the two stories. 

"Does traveling at night give us... security?" I asked Harry. What I really meant was, 'Are we okay? Are we going to die? Are we going to get caught?'. But I didn't say those things, because Harry wasn't afraid. So I shouldn't be, either.

Harry studied my face, smirking. "You mean, does it ensure they won't find us?" I bit my lip, nodding a half nod that was sort of a shrug at the same time. Harry laughed. "Ella, I'm going to be honest. Even the most skilled Railroad workers get caught."

I furrowed my brows. "Railroad?"

"Yeah, the Underground Railroad. It's the sorta adopted name for this whole shindig," he explained as he tightened the harness between the donkey (whom Betsy said was the ugliest animal she had ever seen, and although I didn't say it, I agreed). "Slaves are packages- black packages. People like me are conducters. People like you are, well-"

I cut him off with a bit of a giggle. "Baggage?"

"Exactly."

Auntie Ida led Betsy out to the wagon then, securing her safely in the wagon. I helped Harry fill the potatoes into the back of the wagon (although, comparatively, Harry did 10 while I only did 2) and then waited while Harry hugged Auntie Ida. She patted his back appreciatively, whispering something into his ear and winking when he blushed. She extended her arms to me then, smiling- beaming- and hugged me close to her ample bosom.

"Take good care of Harry," she instructed. "He loves you, you know."

"I know," I whispered back. Auntie Ida was the closest thing I had to a mother then; my own had abandoned me. I squeezed her back, rubbing it. "I'm scared," I admitted. "I'm scared out of my own skin and I don't want to tell him."

Auntie Ida laughed. "Why don't you want to?"

"Because he's not scared."

Auntie Ida drew back so she looked me, square in the eyes. "Yes, he is. It may not seem like it, but he is." She looked at Harry. "Wanna know what he's scared of?"

I studied her. "No. Maybe. I'm not sure." She laughed and squeezed my arm. "He's scared of losing you, silly," she chided and I blushed. My thoughts flew back to his confession of Meg and a part of me wondered if he really loved me and was scared for me. Or was I just a bookmark to him?

I didn't want to know.

We bid goodbye to Auntie Ida and pulled out of her farm as the sun set on Iowa. Harry didn't say anything for a long time, seemingly processing the situation. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence, I realized. It was comfortable; riding on the wagon with Harry and potatoes and the ugly donkey as the sun set.

It was right.

It was okay, to be slightly imperfect. It was okay to be wearing a blue checkered dress and ugly, dirty shoes, because with Harry? With Harry it didn't matter. He looked past the superficial skin and clothing and extra pounds and found me. The real me. Not the Ella who had giggled over champagne at Roselands, not the Ella who had cried herself to sleep when her favorite wild turkey had become Thanksgiving. Ella became Ella, and that was it. Because Harry loved all of Ella, not just part of her or most of her. All of her.

That, I knew.

"What are you thinking about?" Harry's voice broke through my thoughts, which had rambled on to other matters.

"Honestly?"

"Honestly."

"How big the sky is."

Harry laughed. He truly laughed. And it was the most damn adorable thing I've ever seen. His dimples popped and his eyes crinkled and it was perfect. It was like pumpkins and autumn and rivers with waterfalls. And when he laughed, I laughed, too. It wasn't forced or fake. It Harry and I, me and Harry. 

This was us.

The sun eventually dissappeared behind the trees and the air grew cold. I tried to conceal the shivers I was biting back- because Harry  wasn't shivering- but Harry, being all-knowing and all-seeing, it seemed, noticed. "Are you cold, Ella?" he asked in his completely nonchalant tone that made me angry and shiver-ish all at the same time. 

"Yeah," I murmured. "But it's good."

Harry shook his head. "There's a blanket underneath there."

"Under where?"

Harry burst out laughing, and it wasn't the pleasant sort of laughter that had occured before. I rolled my eyes at the childish joke that my cousins had often pulled on me. Huffing, I pulled the blanket out from underneath the seat. I was grateful the darkness concealed the redness of my face. Harry stopped laughing after a while, and then abruptly said, "You make me happy, Ella."

"You make me mad, Styles."

Harry giggled again. "I don't make you in the least happy?"

"Well, okay," I admitted playfully. "A lil' bit."

"How much is a little bit?"

I thought for a moment. "From here to Milwaukee."

"Oh, gee, thanks Ella."

"You are totally welcome."

He sighed and shifted so that our shoulders touched. My temple rested on his broad and sure shoulder. "Wanna know how much you make me happy?" He asked.

"Sure," I said, inhaling his beautiful and perfect scent.

"As big as the sky is. That's how much you make me happy."

okay can we just talk about the severe cuteness in this maybe idek.