pretty boys don't cry

gay boy

Here I am, again, waking up and not wanting to go to school. Its Friday. I have to go.

I find myself getting up and finding decent clothes for school and wash my face.

I get to school earlier than usual which is when all the cliques get together and sit in the courtyard. I don't see gabby anywhere and start to freak out a little. I sit under a shady tree and pull out a cigarette.

"Hey cutie." I look up and see that emo kid again. Ugh he's so cute.

"Hey" I say with a slight chuckle.

"Sorry if youre not gay or bi, I just really think youre adorable." he says. "I'm justin."

"Steven." I didn't even answer back to the gay/bi part. Nobody knows im bisexual, not even gabby.

"Im going to sit with you because you seem lonely" he says.

"Um I am not lonely." I say back defensively.

"Hm, that's what lonely people say" he smiles at me and grabs the cig out out of my mouth. "But that doesn't matter. You deserve more friends." he says.

"No I don't. Im terrible."

"You are so hard on yourself kid. Where's your confidence?"

"Way at the bottom of the ocean." I look away.

"Well, youre hot as hell and you seem like a good kid. You should love yourself more." he gets up and walks off to a big group of emo kids where they are all screaming his name and hugging him. I sit there just staring and seeing how happy he makes everyone makes me upset that i can't do that with anyone.

I look away and put my cigarette out.

"Stevey!!" I turn to see gabby and happily run to her. "Oh my god youre here." I hug her. "You smell like a cigarette stevey."

I laugh and grab her hand. "Glad to be back." I say sarcastically and she smiles and pops my head.

"So.. You worried me yesterday.... A lot. You hung up which means something is definitely wrong. Tell me what's going on." she brings the subject up again.

"Gabby. Its nothing really. Stop worrying." I pull her as we run into the school cafeteria. Our cafeteria has so many different breakfast joints including starbucks, McDonalds, and ihop. I don't usually eat breakfast though.

"Gabby." I say

"Yeah?"

I stand next to her and see her face. I can't tell her anything at all. "I love you and you are the greatest friend I've ever had." I say as she gives me a hug. "I love you too Stevey"

I walk away and go to an empty table to sit alone because gabby usually sits with a huge group of kids for breakfast.

"Sitting alone again bud?" I see Justin. I laugh.

"Literally everytime you see me, im sitting alone."

"Aha. Well I mean, you are lonely right?"

"I have friends. Well... Friend. But same thing." I say.

"Listen. Im youre friend so count me in that too." he says patting my back. "I gotta go but heres my number." he writes down a number on a piece of paper and hands it to me. I smile at him and start to blush when he smiles back. Goddamit. He's great.

"Well if it isn't the coward who ran away from the jocks and cheerleaders. Listen gay boy, just so you know, you fucked up badly and you're going to regret it." I look up and see the peeps. My stomach dropped all the ways to the ground.

I didn't even move a muscle.