The Ruthless Captain

Chapter 4

My lips were suddenly very dry as I looked deeply into the stranger lying next to me. Except, he wasn't quite a stranger anymore. He had surprised me when he so openly told me about one of his deepest darkest secrets. The pain from reminiscing his past was still lingering on his face as he absentmindedly twirled a piece of my hair around his finger, tickling me. I sighed, looking down at his muscular chest. I knew it was only fair for me to share my past no matter how ridiculous it was. But guilt didn't make me want to tell him everything. It was the connection I seemed to have with him. No longer was it physical but now emotional. As I lie here on his chest, I realized I never felt like wanting to express my emotions or thoughts this way with anyone before. Not my mother. Not my father and not even my older sister. I blinked a couple of times to keep myself from being lost in my thoughts. His lips gently grazed my knuckles, silently urging me own though no words were exchanged. 

"It's only fair..." Thomas pouted his lips at me. His eyes were still red from crying just a few minutes ago and his breaths were still coming in short rasps. He looked like a scared boy sleeping as he laid next to me. Raw emotion etched his perfect features. He was an open book. No longer the brave captain I saw last night but a man who was ashamed of his past. I scooted closer to him in bed, needing him. 

"I know..." I breathed, shutting my eyes. "I'm not used to attention." My shoulders tensed when he released one of my hands and ran a finger down my cheek. I shuttered underneath his touch. Every time he touched me, a spark would ignite inside me. I was slowly beginning to return to my original self when I was with him.

"Go on..." He gently prodded me with another kiss on my knuckles. I liked him kissing me like that. He made me feel like I was the only person in his whole world. Someone he felt comfortable with. 

Someone he shared his secret to. 

"My sister Abigail was always the prettiest." I smiled ruefully as I imagined her now in her happy spacious castle that her wealthy duke of a husband owned. She was probably having everyone cater to her like how it was always was. Not having to do anything but carry her title she married for. "When it came time for boys to grow interest in girls, I remember I was put to the side because I was the ugly duckling." His muscles tensed around me when he heard my blunt choice of words. It was true. Abigail had hair that looked like it was spun out of gold. Her cheeks were always flushed to the perfect shade of the inside of a rose and her smile was radiant enough to cause any man to fall to his knees. While she was blessed with a combination of my father and mother's attractive genes, I was the one who stood out. I had dark hair the shade of midnight. My eyes were a vibrant shade of ember, turning lighter in the sun and darkening into coal black at night. I had pale skin Abigail once called to be a 'ghastly shade' of white. While I had a unique beauty, the men all around me always fell for the traditional beauty Abigail possessed. "And for a long time, I felt that way. I felt like her shadow. Every boy followed her. Every parent adored her. Everyone ignored me. For a long time I felt like I was a mistake my father and mother created by accident." Tears gathered in my eyes as my voice shook much like his. "I still believe I am the unwanted. I am the ugly duckling and I will never be as great as the beautiful Abigail." I smiled bitterly through my tears. 

A large hand wiped my tears away. I relaxed into his soft caress, surprised for the second time today that this man could have so many sides to him. Long gone were the bitter thoughts I had of him of being a cruel bastard who preyed on the weak and the vulnerable. Here was a man who had the capability of love, compassion and sympathy. A sob escaped my lips. His lips pressed against my forehead and i continued. 

"That's why I feel this way with you." I mumbled, my tongue thick with emotion. I looked away, no longer wanting to hold his steady gaze. He would only make me cry more. "You make me feel like I am your center. I am the center of which your world revolves around and I am the most beautiful woman you ever laid eyes on." I looked up to meet his eyes. "I know this may not be true. I know you must have bed..." I looked around the room. "So many other women...countless even! Countless number of women in this very bed. Much prettier, much smarter and much-" 

Thomas's lips pressed against mine before I could finish my sentence. He let go of my hands and ran up along the length of my body causing me to melt in his arms. My hands ran greedily along his heaving chest to his soft curly locks. His hair was cropped short but I could still see that it was naturally curly in texture. I sighed happily when I imagined a young boy with blonde curls and rosy cheeks running around fields of green, amazed at the possibility of the world. I yearned to kiss him to make him feel once more like this. To make him happy. 

From the groan that escaped the perfect curve of his lips, I knew I was succeeding. We were both lost. Transfixed by each other's body, lips and everything else pressed in between. The bed creaked as he hovered over me. Our kisses grew salty from the tears rolling off of my cheeks and his. For a moment, all the pain washed away like a wave in the ocean. Everything outside this room, this ship, this world was forgotten. I was with him and he was with me. 

I was lost.

I was his.

"You listen to me, Sophia Winslet." He stopped his frantic kissing and held my face. "You are an angel. You are as beautiful as the sun on a warm hot July day. As beautiful as the cold harsh autumn wind of September. More beautiful than the first snowflake in December. And you are far more beautiful than any woman I have ever laid my eyes on. Do you understand?" 

I nodded my head numbly, blinking back the tears and believing every word he spoke. I hugged him closely to me.  His lips kissed my tears away. Kissed the pain away. I kissed him hungrily along his strong neck while my hands ran across his shoulders. 

"And you are not a disgrace." I mumbled into his ear. "You are possibly one of the most misunderstood man I have ever met. You are a wonderful gift to me and to this world." 

Thomas looked deeply into my eyes. He unlocked his fixed jaw and blinked a couple of times, letting the words sink in. Lying underneath him, I ran my hand across his cheek and smiled when he relaxed to my touch just like i had for his. He understood. He believed me. My heart soared when a small grin splayed his lips wide open. 

"Sophia." He said very quietly. 

"Yes..." I asked, my hands draped around his neck. 

"If I may ask for permission..." Thomas leaned in, pressing his lips lightly against the hollow of neck. "I would like to make you mine now. Forever mine. From the top of your magnificent head to the ends of your toes. I want you completely to myself. I want...myself to be yours." 

I whimpered when I heard his words. A shudder ran along my spine as he flipped over onto the bed so that my back was pressed against the sinking mattress. I had never been with a man before. I had only heard hushed stories of what really happened behind closed doors with married couples. My mother always blushed heavily whenever I asked her of the subject and Abigail always ended up taunting and teasing me if I ever mentioned a bit of it.  His lips pressed against the back of my ear causing me to lose all thought as I pulled him closer towards me until I was sure I could hear the pounding of his heart. I heard the hitch in his breath as he trailed his skilful lips down between the soft tender skin between my breasts, peeling the straps of my dress down to expose my shoulders. My hands held on tighter to his broad shoulders, pushing him slightly away from me. A confused look on his face, I hesitated.

"Thomas." I said, barely hearing myself as my voice was a mere whisper. Stopping his kisses, he looked up from the curves of my breasts to look me in the eye. Thomas immediately knew something was wrong when I only furrowed my brows at him, struggling to find the right words to say.

"What is it?" He held his steady gaze. For a moment, I wished to dismiss what he asked and wait for a better time to break the news to him. "Is something wrong?"

"I'm...I'm..." I blushed; face aflame from the truth itching to get out of my mouth. "I'm not as experienced as you think I am."

"I hardly care." Thomas shrugged his shoulder, lips already back on my breasts, stopping my train of thoughts and protests as I shivered underneath his touch.