The Ruthless Captain

Chapter 11

I woke up to the sound of Thomas moaning in pain. Startling out of my seat, I shook off the thin blanket I draped over myself and immediately rushed to his side. His eyes were barely open, sweat covering his brow and lip a sickening purple shade. He was groaning loudly in pain that sent me to extremities of sadness and unnerving emotions.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, grabbing another towel from the closet and ran it under water in the bucket. Quickly going back to where he lied, I dabbed his hot flushed cheeks, feeling immensely better when he relaxed, melting into my touch. It was only then did his eyelids slowly fluttered open, mouth hanging slightly agape, moving up and down, and finding enough energy inside him to say what was on his mind.

"Water..." Thomas said in a dry raspy voice. Not wasting any more time, I reached for the pitcher of cool water and poured the refreshing liquid into a tin cup, helped him sit up a bit and placed the rim to his dehydrated cracked lips. Water splashing onto his shirt as he weakly tried to hold onto the cup with his own hands, I pushed them gently away and tipped the cup more so he could be relieved quicker.

"Better?" I asked, setting the empty cup back onto the bedside table. He nodded his head and sank back into his soft pillows, wincing when he accidentally went rougher than he would have liked, hurting himself on his wound. "Careful." I readjusted his blankets. Brushing the last of his skin with my towel, I could see that he wasn't exactly getting better but not exactly worse as well. It was like he was stuck where he was. But I knew better than this false hope. If he was stuck in this condition for any longer, he was in great and terrible danger of contracting a disease or a gruesome infection. Mentally making a note to tell Abe that we needed to figure out a new strategy to attend to Thomas's wounds, I reluctantly sat back down onto my chair, having nothing to do but watch him try to slip back into slumber.

"Was I dreaming or did I hear you read my diary?" Thomas mumbled with his eyes shut tightly. A hot blush blossomed onto my fair cheeks as soon as his correct accusation was said out loud. I stumbled for a response. "I've only peaked just a little." I reassured him, not daring to speak any more of what exactly had I read and how much I already knew about his past. I mean, it was bound to come up sooner or later in our young relationship. He would have to tell me at some point that he was courting a female and he was expected to marry her. This is normally something someone would tell their partner in a new relationship. Wasn't it?

God was on my side tonight as instead of getting a snarky response from Thomas like I was so used to getting, he slipped as easily back into slumber as he woke up for water. The vivid imagery of Thomas waking up startled and the look of pure fright in his wide ocean blue eyes lingered with me when I closed my eyes and tried to catch another few minutes of sleep before I went to make breakfast and check on the conditions of the crew and ship. He was no longer the strong, fierce and godlike man I had the pleasure of meeting but...human. He was human in my eyes now. He was susceptible to any peril I would be faced against in life and he had an equal amount of chance to possibly die like I have in my life. And that thought frightened me to no end.

It frightened me more than falling completely head over heels for this man in such a short amount of time. It seemed highly impossible to ever share secrets and insecurities like mine with someone let alone a complete stranger like him yet his soft caress, the gentleness of his voice when he coaxed the truth out of me and the alluring look of his moonstone coloured eyes was enough to sell me the idea that this was something extraordinary and cannot be ended simply. This was the gut-wrenching-heart-pounding-thrilling-amazing love that I so longed for and admired after reading endless number of books stacked in my library shelves. I knew from this moment on that this man has changed in no ways time could ever do so. Looking down at him, I ran a hand through his sweat slicked curls and wished the gnawing worried feeling tightening my gut would disappear. A sliver of doubt slipped underneath my skin when I realized I had fallen head over heels with him but has he done the same with me? Did he feel the same exciting shivers that ran across my body whenever I glanced at him? Did he feel the same overwhelming sense of protection whenever I saw harm done to him? Did he even think of me more than another woman in his bed?

I knew I was thinking way too much for my own good. My father always muttered under his breath that I thought too much and a man would never agree to it whenever I spoke my mind. He claimed a man prefers a wife who kept silent, who does whatever they are told to do and raise children for the family name they should marry into. I had strongly protested, arguing if swine like that would dare call himself a noble gentleman, then they are lying to themselves and fooling no one but themselves. That snappy remark had left me with a week grounded inside the mansion, not being allowed to walk the grounds with my sisters and brothers and enjoy the nice spring weather.

A full wave of crushing emotions crashed against me when I realized I had been on this ship for far too long already. Long enough to no doubt cause an unsettling feeling inside my household and cause fright to my father and my mother. My mother always had a weak heart, fainting at nearly everything out of the ordinary. I saw down on the edge of my chair, back erect and eyes brimming with tears as I worried for my mother's health and wondered if my loving family were looking for me. I wondered if they had the made the connection already and knew Charlie was behind this whole mess in the first place. Damn him for being such a cruel beast and cause panic in my family! Damn him! I wondered if anyone was even looking for me.

What really astounded me the most was the thought of me not wanting to leave if I got a chance. I couldn't leave Thomas now that he's overtaken my mind and body like a morbid disease. I don't think I could live a waking hour not at his side let along being permanently at a distance from him.

Sighing, I smoothed down my dress and glanced over at the flickering candle by the cup he drank out of. The journal was placed underneath it, calling at me like a siren in the night. I was drunk with anticipation, wanting to know more about this mysterious man and hoping if he had written anything about me recently in the pieces of rough parchment. Sneaking another glance at Thomas, I took my lower lip into my mouth and chewed thoughtfully.

I already read one entry.

I might as well read another.