The Ruthless Captain

Chapter 13

Thomas's fever broke the next morning. I had woken up; lying down beside him on what little space was available on the shared bed with his arm happily draped around me. His breathing had become softer, less laboured than the night before and the deep pained expression on his handsome face had softened, reassuring me that the worst might be over. I easily maneuverer myself out of bed, careful not to brush his wound, and ran a towel in water to wet his face, cleaning of any sweat from the previous night.

"You look better." I commented quietly to myself. His eyelids slowly fluttered opened, a shy boyish smile forming on his lips. The memories of reading the truth in his scribbled diary came fleeting back, drowning me in emotions I did not understand or want to feel. He hadn't lied. He just never fully told me the truth.

"Seeing that I got the best care any man can ever need, I do feel better." Thomas said in a dry hoarse voice, catching my hand and holding it as his eyes connected with mine. "I am forever in your debt for taking care of me in my time of need and possibly saving my life."

I swallowed the lump hardening in the back of my throat. After gruelling hours and days of never daring to leave his side in fear that he might die in any second, it left me mentally drained and emotionally unstable. And as if death was not a horrible possibility, I had read his diary, learned his deepest hidden secrets, and felt immensely guilty for not asking permission before I continued. "I thought you might...die." I finally choked out, hearing the sound of my voice tremble like a leaf in the wind. And then I was in his arms, sobbing into his chest as he hushed and cooed me, rubbing my back, soothing the aches in my body away.

"I fought much worse." He commented dryily, kissing my hair.

"Men." I scoffed, pulling away from his chest to wipe my nose. "You think you can cheat death?"

"No, but I wouldn't dare go down without a fight—especially when I have someone to fight for." Thomas said quietly, eyes searching my face.

"Thomas..." I breathed. "I have to tell you something..."

"What is it?" He asked, rubbing a calloused thumb over my knuckles. The warm touch sent shivers down my spine as the guilt weighed on, pooling in the pit of my stomach until I thought I would surely sink down onto the floor.

"I was reading you a story so you would sleep better..." I began, not meeting his eyes any longer.

"A story?" Thomas asked hesitantly. "I haven't gotten any—"

"Yes, I know that." I cut him off shortly. "It wasn't your story but it was your diary."

He face froze at my words and then fell back to the same stony expression he had on before when I mocked him for being able to be cheat death.

"What do you know?" He asked quietly, his thumb no longer brushing against the soft skin on my hand.

"I know about Lady Elizabeth..." I continued awkwardly, unsure of how much I was supposed to say.

"She means nothing to me." Thomas deadpanned, waving it off without a care in the world. "Sophia, you have to understand that you're the only one for me and I never gave any thought of her while I was at sea or after meeting you."

Does he think I'm jealous? Well, I wasn't as jealous as he made me out to be.

"No, it's not about Lady Elizabeth!" I exasperated. "Yes, I was a tad bit annoyed that there were women in your life before you met me and I know it's common for a scoundrel like yourself but—"

"A scoundrel?" He asked in an amused tone. "You think I'm a scoundrel?"

"Thomas that is not the point." I said in a clipped tone. "And yes, I do believe so since you unwillingly trapped me onto a boat and nearly forced me to share a bed with you! And might I also add, that you are a man and therefore, presumed to have had bedded a lot of women in your past." I huffed out.

"Just because I'm a man, it doesn't mean that I'm like some whore you meet on the street. I prefer to call myself a person who cherishes beauty life has to offer." Thomas replied smoothly, eyes glittering.

"As I was saying!" I quipped, annoyed now by his flirtatious manner and how my body responded to his every word. My cheeks flushed a shade darker when I remembered how he had bathed me after making love for the first time. The scene was so erotic in my mind. "I read about our families."

This time his face froze completely. His smile slipped off his face as his eyes grew to a stormy shade of blue.

"Sophia, you had no right..." Thomas said tightly.

"What do you mean I had no right?" I asked indignantly, taken aback by his words. "It's my family. I had a right to know the brawl between our families and why exactly are we at bad terms!"

"Please don't take my words to offense, Sophia." He groaned almost painfully.

"Well, then what did you mean?" I fired away, feeling anger to boil within me. All my life, I've been kept in the dark from things that should have mattered. I did what I was told. I read what I told to read. And I kept my business to myself while all around me the world was moving past me at this great speed I didn't realize it moved. I felt like I was kept in a box and not being able to get out. My father wouldn't mention any of his business with the Hiddlestons and now, the man I had been intimate with was found to be hiding the very secret I wanted to know.

"I was going to bloody tell you!" Thomas roared. I winced at the sheer volume of his voice. "When I first saw you on my ship, I knew you didn't know. You didn't know the tension between our families. I never told you because I wanted to convince you that whatever is between our families have nothing to do with what became of us. Don't you see it now? We came this far without ever caring for what they might disapprove of."

"Yes, but can't you see I have been kept in the dark for so long and now, when I finally feel like I'm seeing the world for the first time, you've been lying to me!" I yelled back, lungs burning. It was like my world was a blur and everything was coming back into focus. "Wait a minute..." I scrubbed my face with my hands until the numbness subsided. "You met me before—at the ball. You knew who I was. You used my fiancé, Charlie, and tricked him into using me as leverage for your bet! You traded me like I was a few coins in your pocket! Oh, you devious man!" I stood up from the bed, body tight with anger burning through my veins. "You ruined me! You bedded me and now I'll forever be yours! I'll never be able to marry now." Feeling like the world was falling away underneath my feet, I choked on the sobs rising inside my body.

"Sophia, please!" Thomas begged, taking my hand into his tight grasp. I flung his hand away. "Let me explain..."

"I need air." I choked out, crying too heavily now to able to see straight. Blindly twisting the door knob opened, I slammed the door shut behind me and slipped to the dirty floors, burying my head in my knees. Who can I trust now?

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