BTS: I Need Your Blood, Sweat, Tears

2

 Jungkook had a day off again. More time to sit in his bed and not move. Yet his stomach growled. Despite not sleeping that night, he wasn't tired. Just unmotivated.

His stomach yelled at him for food. He ignored it. Again. Ignore. Again.

Fine.

He got up from his bed and trudged his way to the kitchen, where a packet of noodles was sitting on his dirty counter. No scissors. A knife would do.

It would do...

Not worth it, not unless he wanted to clean up the mess. Or make someone else do it for him.

Well...

Was it...

It wasn't...

Should he...

Should he do it?

The knife pressed against his leg when he sat down cross legged, and when he dragged it, blood seeped slightly. He only winced a bit. He hadn't done this before.

Didn't feel like anything. That was that. He was done.

More blood seeped down his leg a bit. Smeared when he stood up. He looked down to watch it. It was mesmerising, in a way. It moved and he didn't have to. It stained his kitchen floor. He stepped away, the blood made a dripping trail.

He wasn't hungry anymore.

The day passed on. He finally slept that night.

His leg hurt when he woke up. Not painful, but sore. He hadn't bandaged it or anything, but throughout the night, it had stopped bleeding. Perhaps because he had pressed it tightly against his sheets, as those were no longer blue, but now a reddish-purple colour.

He grabbed a couple bandages from his bathroom and wound it around the wound. A couple inches long. It bled again. Not worth cleaning.

No shower, again. Hairbrush, perhaps. The stranger's money jangled in his pocket. He hadn't changed since. He brushed out his hair and looked at the money in his pocket.

He'd have to use it for something.

He slipped on shoes and a hat, and grabbed a jacket, leaving the house for the first time in awhile, this time not to go to work.

He wasn't sure what he'd spend it on, but he'd find something. Whether or not it was food didn't matter. He felt obligated to find something to spend free money on, rather than keep it in his pocket forever until it was needed, or worse, forgotten about.

As he walked down the sidewalk, he stopped at a crosswalk and waited for the crossing signal.

There he was again.

"Hey, it's you," the man greeted. "From the store, remember? Namjoon, and your name was... Uh... Oh, Jungkook, right?" Jungkook looked over at the man. Same face and everything, so he nodded. "Wow, cool. Hey, what'd you get with the extra money?" Jungkook shrugged. "Nothing?" He reached into his pocket and brandished the change. "Oh, you waited to spend it, I see. Wait for something you really want, good thinking." The man held a finger to his head and tapped it twice, as if admiring what he believed to be smart thinking.

The man was wrong. It was obligatory action.

The crossing signal turned and Jungkook started off across the street, paying the man no mind. It wasn't as if he truly cared about Jungkook's well being.

It wasn't as if he himself really cared.

It wasn't as if...

He was going to stop...

In the middle of the street...

And wait.

"Hey," the man said when he walked past Jungkook to the other edge of the crosswalk. "Hey, you better hurry, the light's going to turn." Jungkook, looked at the light. Would it turn? Or would it just stay red until he made it to the end of the walk?

Did it really matter? Did anything?

"Hey- Hey!" the man yelled when the light turned. Jungkook looked to his right and watched as a car started to bolt down the street. Careless driver, looking at her phone, not paying attention. He didn't need her to. "Hey, get out of the road!" Jungkook sighed and kept his eyes trained on the vehicle.

His arm was grabbed and he was yanked from the crosswalk onto the sidewalk. The car whizzed by.

"Hey, man, you have a death wish?" the man asked. "You almost died!" Jungkook looked back at the traffic. Chance was gone now. No public suicide. What a waste of ten seconds. "Hey, you alright? Why didn't you move?"

Jungkook refused to look the man in the eye. Didn't want to see the concerned face.

"Hey, c'mon, man, let's find somewhere to spend that money," the man said. "Jungkook, let's go." The man pulled Jungkook along, keeping an arm on his at all times, and eventually they walked into a supermarket, where the man led Jungkook to a candy aisle, and tried to let him pick out a candy. He didn't pick anything, so the man picked for him. He even got him a weird stuffed plush toy, as if it was a gift.

"Thanks," the man replied. What was his name? Jungkook didn't make the effort to remember. "Here, eat." He handed Jungkook a cookie-type food, and Jungkook willingly ate it. "Good, right? It's what I get my friends when it's my turn to shop." The man snapped. "Oh, hey, you want to come and meet them? Seems like you'd...maybe like to meet some new people." Jungkook shrugged. New people came and went every day. If he couldn't even bother to remember this man's name, how could he bother to remember anyone else's?

He felt half an urge to run away from the man and back into traffic, cookie, toy, and all. Just get it over with.

"C'mon, it's this way," the man said, and Jungkook was dragged away from the street and down the opposite way.