BTS: I Need Your Blood, Sweat, Tears

4

 Jungkook, at least this time, made it home safely. Though he made a promise with Rap Monster, or Namjoon, or whatever his name was, he couldn't guarantee that his carelessness would get him sent to either a hospital or the afterlife, both of which seemed one in the same if he was honest.

When Jungkook awoke the next morning, same bland sunlight, ceiling, posters, he let his alarm ring out rather than shutting it off like usual. It felt somewhat calming to have noise in the house rather than silence.

He made his way to the kitchen. The once-wet blood on the floor was now dried and no longer slippery. He dropped a towel on it and ignored the fact that it existed. Though his leg was a reminder, it was hardly enough of one.

He made food that morning, for the first time in awhile. If he ate, he only ate dinner, and that was usually every other night. He never felt like eating. He thought it best not to waste his food on someone who wasn't hungry. The noodles he was going to make yesterday were still on the counter, as was the knife, which also had traces of dried blood.

Tentatively, he cleaned off the knife in his sink with water, but froze in the presence of a creature crawling across his wall.

It was fairly medium-sized, sure, but in Jungkook's eyes, a spider was still a spider.

And he was terrified of them.

As soon as he caught glimpse of it, he dropped the knife and jumped back. He could feel the panic building up, he could feel himself start to hyperventilate. He could feel a build-up of emotional panic, a feeling he hadn't been used to for a long while.

Not good, not good, not good.

In his pocket, his phone rang. An unfamiliar number, he couldn't answer it now. It wasn't important. There were spiders crawling all over him, he could feel them pricking at his skin. A text rang out on the screen.

"kookie you there?" it read. "its namjoon, did you get the other text?" He couldn't respond, his fingers were shaking. The phone rang again, and somehow, he was barely able to answer the call.

"Hello?" a voice said, Namjoon's. Rap Monster's. Whatever. "Hello, Jungkook, are you there?" If Jungkook was right, his breathing was loud enough to hear over the speaker. "Are you okay? You're breathing really hard. What's wrong?" Jungkook, unexpectedly, let out a cry. "Hold on, hold on, I'm coming. I remember where you live, don't worry." The phone hung up.

Even if Namjoon got there, it wouldn't help him now.

He scratched at his skin.

God, everywhere.

All over him.

Off, off, off, off.

"Jungkook?" Namjoon's voice rang out from behind the door. He must've already been out. He knocked several times before he opened the door, which Jungkook hadn't bothered to lock. Namjoon simply caught sight of Jungkook shaking and hyperventilating. Namjoon quickly dropped to his knees to comfort Jungkook, to bring him out of the panic attack, to bring him away from the fear and the feeling.

In about ten minutes, the feeling had subsided.

"Hey, you okay?" Namjoon said. Definitely Namjoon. Rap Monster didn't fit his actions. "What happened, why were you panicking?" For the first time in awhile, Jungkook spoke.

"S-Spider," he said simply. Namjoon looked around, and then spotted the creature on the kitchen counter, sitting there.

"Okay, okay, I'll get it right out of here." Namjoon stood and took a minute to capture the arachnid in a glass and a book he found, throwing it as far away as he could outside. He returned to Jungkook on the floor. "There, gone. No more."

"O-On me," Jungkook said, squirming. God, he could feel them up and down his clothes, invisible creatures crawling on him. Namjoon looked him over and nodded.

"Okay, ready?" Namjoon said, then, swiped at the entirety of Jungkook's main body. "There they go, all going away. All gone." Namjoon gave a few extra swipes to Jungkook's shoulders. "See? No more." Jungkook opened his eyes to look around, only relaxing slightly when he saw nothing moving but him and Namjoon. "Yeah?" Jungkook nodded, and Namjoon smiled. "I was starting to think you were mute, but I guess you do have a voice. It's nice." Jungkook didn't smile, but gave a polite nod. "Hey, you have work, right?" Nod. "You have to go?" Nod, nod. "Okay. After work, you want to come by the house again? Suga's mad you left so quickly, he wants to hang out with you more."

People actually cared for once. That seemed new, though it hardly was. Three months with barely any interaction left someone without traditional people skills, aside from the mundane ones at work.

Work was all smiles and nods and counting and scanning. He didn't even talk to the people he worked with, just took orders and gave them. He hardly even gave orders anymore, anyways.

"Okay," Jungkook said, and Namjoon nodded. He helped Jungkook up from the floor and gave him a lookover. "You should just get a shower, at least. Don't pressure yourself, and make it to work safely." Jungkook nodded. Namjoon set his hands on Jungkook's shoulders. "You promised, remember?" He nodded again and Namjoon headed for the door. "Okay. I'll text you later?" Jungkook gave a last nod. Namjoon tilted his head and left the house, leaving Jungkook to decide whether or not he even wanted to do what Namjoon said.

Despite the argument that it would be the best for him, that all this would help, he doubted a shower, at any temperature, would make any different to how he felt inside. How he looked, sure. He'd probably be cleaner than he's been in a week. But he didn't care about what his outside was. It mattered what was on the inside.

How was he supposed to clean the inside of himself? Exercising and eating well didn't do that, at least, not to him.

He took a shower as he was told, but it didn't make him feel better. It just made him look like he cared. The after picture of himself in the mirror didn't look any less depressed or panicked or asocial. It just didn't happen to have dirt on it now.

Clean clothes. Deodorant. Shoes. Hat. Work.

Bland.