29. AFTER
"This place gives me the bloody creeps."
It's hard not to agree with Oliver on that one. Pippa, Oliver and I have arrived at the front of the house - James' house. There haven't been many times I've been in this part of the neighbourhood. I've never had any reason to. But I can recall walking as fast as my legs could manage every time I had to cross this house. Adam's face now comes to my mind; I remember the first time he'd led me past here, it was just a few months into our friendship, and his body seemed to stiffen somewhat. His lips had parted just slightly, which by then I had recognized was his way of trying to control his breathing. I hadn't thought much of it back then. I've come to realize there's hardly anything I gave much thought to before Adam died.
"Right then." Pippa hugs herself tightly. It's growing cold. "What's the plan?"
I'm half inclined to barge in and demand an explanation. It seems the only efficient thing to do, at this point.
"James' mum knows me," Oliver quips. "Not very well, but well enough. I could just knock at the door; invite myself in for a chat. I'll ask for James as well. I'll text you both to say whether he's safe or not. And then I'll confront him about Adam, when the timing's right."
Pippa and I glance at each other. Well, that's the best we can come up with at the moment, so we'll have to give it a go.
"A sound plan," Pippa says. "Where should we wait for you? I don't think it's a good idea for her to see us."
"There's a park close by," I respond. "It's barely a minute's walk. We could wait there."
There's a simultaneous nod from all three of us. Oliver pushes his shoulders back, lips pressed together in a thin line. I can only imagine how frightened he must feel now. Just as he takes a step forward towards the house, my hand flings forward and catches him by his sleeve. His head jerks back to look at me in curious surprise.
Throat burning, I say, "Adam deserved you. Every bit of you."
I can see that I've shocked him. Perhaps I should've said that for a better time. Timing will never be my strong suit, will it? But then Oliver's face, so tight with worry just seconds before, relaxes slightly. There is just a quiver of a smile on his lips. It's neither mocking nor cruel. It's a new kind of smile I've never seen before, the sort I can imagine him giving to Adam. Perhaps we're friends now.
"You better go," I finally speak again, wincing at the poorly concealed urgency in my tone.
"Thank you," he says quietly. I let go of his sleeve. Pippa wraps her hand around my arm.
"Let's make a move on," she whispers, "before she opens the door."
"Good luck!" she calls after Oliver and then we're running off. I've never been one for prayer but I'm silently counting on Adam's God to work his miracles, just this once, if he exists.
"That was surprising, what you said to him back there," Pippa tells me just moments after we've crossed into the grassy area of the park. It's empty. Naturally, everyone's at home celebrating Easter. I'd completely forgotten.
"Why is that?" I ask, semi-distracted. I keep checking my phone for any texts from Oliver. Instead, I'm greeted with 4 new miscalls from my mother. We are going to be in so much trouble when we go back home. I can only imagine the sort of scenarios mum has conjured about the whereabouts of Pippa and I. About what we're doing, to be specific. My cheeks go crimson at the thought.
"For a while I was so sure you were in love with Adam."
I glance up from my phone at Pippa, startled. I search for any traces of teasing in her voice, some expression of sarcasm, but there is none.
