Hey. So my past isn’t the best. But trust me when I say that I like you. I know what it feels like to like someone, obviously. But you’re not like the others. I can be myself around you and I can trust you. I like hanging out with you and you’re one of the only guys I can trust anymore and be myself around. I don’t care if you don’t like me; I’m still going to like you. I wish I could read your mind and see if you like me too. Everyone says you do, but I just can’t wrap it around in my head that YOU like me, ME of all girls. I wish I knew exactly how you felt, without everyone telling me. I wish you would tell me. I would ask you out, but I’m afraid of what you’ll say. I’m afraid once you know how I feel, things won’t be the same between us. I really don’t want to risk our friendship, but I want you to know how I feel and how you feel. I wish it was that easy. They might tell me I can do better, but I don’t want better. I just want you. You and me. Together. I can tell you everything. And I want to always be able to tell you everything. No matter if we just stay friends, or we become more than friends.
There’s no way that you feel the same way I feel about you for me. I can’t imagine you having those feelings for me. I don’t care what anyone else says, I don’t believe it and I’m not going to. I keep replaying the events from today in my head: you making fun of my bowling, you trying to sit on my lap, me hiding your hat, me hoping you could hang out after, you squishing me, you tickling me, me blushing constantly, you following me & sitting next to me wherever I went, etc. Yeah, I felt pretty dang special. Maybe this is something. Don’t get me wrong, I know it might not be, but it’s good to think positive! I’m going to have to keep my head up, no matter what happens between us and I’m going to have to try and keep things how they are. I’m afraid. Not of you, not of your past. But your ex-girlfriends. Since two of them are some of my closest friends, I don’t know how well this will blow over. I know there are other girls who like you, who are better than me. I won’t do a repeat of what I did to someone else. I won’t get all jealous, thinking I’m better and stuff, I just want you to like me for me, more than you like anyone else.
