Tabs might be sad.

Sparks.

Dear diary,

Today's the day, the party. I'm so so so excited. I hope I don't back down last minute. Sounds a lot like me. I don't have any friends. I realized that for the second time today as I thought how fun it would be to go out with a friend and get a new outfit to really impress him... I can do it on my own though. I'm actually really good at that stuff. May be ugly but I dress to impress. I care unlike some girls I know. But I decided on what to wear. Bye for now diary. I'm going to be happy. I'll fill you in on the details later!

                      2:23 pm

Oh my god! This night was the best! I really had a blast! The most fun I've ever ever had. I have to say Dil looked hot. Very hot. Like bam bam bam pow! Lemme tell ya. First off I get there and my favorite songs on, Pumped up Kicks. Then I walk in and he looked at me like the room lit up. No one has ever looked at me like that, ever. I actually felt good for a couple seconds. Anyways I started talking to him and the conversation was great, we just clicked. Ya know? But then he said "hold on" and disappeared for a hot second then came back with a few beers. I get a little crazy when I drink. So I took it slow. That didn't help a lot though. I got wasted. It was a slight blur though until the end. Maybe it's because it was so important to me. Me and dil kissed? Like it really happened. Its so unreal to think about though. Like 100% out of this world. Speaking of which, I'm falling. The kiss made me feel like I was floating. Flying maybe even. I was alive. Truly. I'm happy.
1:44 am

Song of the day: Talk me Down by Troye Sivan.
This song is soooo good! And I'm up for anything with Dil. I'm not scared at all. I trust him. He won't take advantage. I'm safe with him. He makes me feel sparks.

Other thoughts: I'm so happy. And I'm gonna be honest. I'm scared. This will end. I'm gonna get sad again. Then what? What will I do when I'm unhappy again. Will Dil leave me when he sees I really am crazy? Will he help? Probably not. Why would he? Its a hassle. Now that I'm overthinking and scared poopless I'm gonna head off to bed... or at least try.

            September 25 &/!'bd
               -Tabitha