Silent Pain

Part 4

Chris had been at his apartment for an hour, regretting not staying with Alecks and the children. He was alone and in pain and all he really had was the TV for company. He placed a hand on his stomach to try and numb the pain as he tried to concentrate on the news channel in front of him. He wasn't interested in the news really, just needed to get his mind of loneliness and pain. It didn't take his mind off things as most of the stories were about terrorism and the imagery made him feel worse. He turned it off and lay on the sofa, sighing as he did so. He wondered how he would be on Saturday, especially as his TD was playing up and he wasn't feeling confident. He inhaled deeply and held it, trying to stop the pain in his stomach. It didn't work and ended up making himself feel worse. As he sat up, he felt disgusted at himself. His surroundings were messy but hadn't had time to clean up as he came here very rarely. He groaned to himself and picked up his phone as it rang. He answered, hoping it was Craig but it was Robert.
"Hey Bobby." He smiled to himself.
"Hey Chris. How you feel now?"
"Better thank you."
"Good. I noticed it was giving you trouble before so I'm glad its been dealt with."
"Yeah. Its only numb now though."
"Good." There was a pause, "Alecks just called and told me she as worried about you going Saturday."
"Yes I know."
"You aren't going to cancel, are you?"
"No."
"Well, do you want me to come and collect you if you're not okay to drive yourself?"
"Yeah. I guess you could."
"Alright, text me in the morning. I know where you live I can get there fairly quick."
"Thanks."
"You heard from Craig at all?" Robert questioned,
"No I haven't. Jack hasn't even called Aleks so,"
"Apparently hes recording a documentary so that's why."
"Oh, on what?"
"His life I think? I don't know."
"I see." Chris replied. Craig didn't have time for him anymore. He knew he shouldn't be jealous of that, especially as the documentary was giving him money, but not even a call? And then there was the times that he and Craig had spent together. What if he mentioned that?
"You okay?" Robert asked, noticing the silence.
"Yes I'm fine. Just thinking."
"Well don't think too hard!" he joked,
"Okay. Well, talk later Bob."
"Alright, call if you need me."
"Bye."
His call with Robert made him feel happier and less alone. Whilst Robert was older than he was, he always cared about him and seemed to protect him. Even though he didn't understand all his problems, he still tried his best. He tried to relish this happiness, but what he told him about Craig made him feel useless. How did Robert know and not him? He wanted to know what it was about a lot more. Why hadn't he told him about it? Why was he keeping things from him?

He lay in bed, managing to get dressed though the pain and thought about Saturday. What if he had to cancel on them? Would the fans still like him? Then there was the premier for the new series. What if Craig hated him? What would happen?
He managed to grab his phone from his bedside as he got another call.
As he reached and answered, ignoring the pain in his abdomen. It was Aleks.
"Hey."
"Hey darling, you okay?"
"Yes, I'm fine." He said, placing a hand on the pain to somehow make it hurt less,
"Sure?"
"Yes."
"Well, Jack spoke to me a few minutes ago. Craig's doing a documentary so that's why he hasn't spoken to you, probably."
"I know, Bob told me about that." Chris tried not to wince as it hurt. Why now? Maybe it was because he was tired?
"Well, apparently he's going to be talking about that place you and Craig stayed at ages ago."
"Oh?"
"Yeah. She just said he's going there tomorrow so if he calls you about it then don't be surprised."
"I will be surprised." He sighed,
"Oh, still hasn't called?"
"Nope." Chris looked down at the pain. He needed medication badly and Craig was making it hurt more,
"I'm sure he will come around eventually." She reassured, putting an imaginary comforting hand on him,
"Hmm."
"Just don't worry about it. Focus on yourself for now You matter to me more than Craig does, alright?"
"Alright."
"Well, good night. I will pick you up tomorrow at 11. Is that okay?"
"Uh hu. Night." He said, hanging up before his pain worsened,
Placing the phone back on the bedside, he winced as the pain got worse. He held back tears as he got up to get some medication out of his bag. He found the packet and was surprised he hadn't taken an overdose. As he swallowed it, he began to cry a little. He thought he meant a lot to Craig; kept him company, protected him, payed off drug debts he owed and got into fights for him. And what did Craig do for him? Nothing. Whenever he needed help, he hadn't been there for him. With all the medication and abandonment, he had had, he needed people around him. He thought Craig would be there but, obviously not. Most of the nights he'd just sit there smoking and drinking with his other friends and watch as Chris secluded himself.
As he sat in bed, bent double as his side hurt and crying, he wondered what he meant to anyone. He wanted to talk to him so badly, ask him why he'd kept stuff from him. Weren't they friends anymore? He wanted to know, then it could be another he could tick off his list.