Forever Young

Tonight

I have lived so many lives, it seems like I've lived forever. But don't worry, that's exactly how I like it.

Well, it's only been about a few hundred years, so I can't really say if I've enjoyed it or not.

Personally, I think it's great. I'm living the life over here. Unfortunately, every few years, this crazy stalker-chick shows up and I age a few weeks - sometimes a month - but I always manage to fix the problem pretty soon.

So, for the past few hundred or so years, I've been eighteen or so years old. I'm definitely sure I'm not yet nineteen - otherwise some pretty crazy chick called Evie (I think) is going to be in some serious trouble.

Okay, okay, I can literally sense your utter confusion. Pardon me if not everyone is a genius such as moi. So, calm yo farm, I'll explain.

Right, about nine hundred years ago, a breakthrough was made. People weren't aging after a certain point - and then they did. Then they figured it out.

Some sappy romantic fool discovered what he called 'the power of love'. According to him, each person stops ageing at eighteen until they meet their soul mate.  Awkward me believe my soul mate would end up being a cat my grandma decided to pick up off the street one day.

But then I met her. And she ruined my life!

I was eighteen for ten years! I was immortal for ten years then this jerk Evie shows up and refuses to leave. Look, I get that love is the most powerful thing on this planet and all that junk, but . . . immortality. Come on, you can't blame me.

Now, don't judge me, okay?

*says while wincing* I killed Evie.

After that first one, it was pretty easy. Especially after the first fifty years. Evie would be reincarnated and she'd show up and I'd kill her. It was okay, though, because I'm pretty sure I'd feel like some sort of pedophile with her. I mean, I'm over a hundred years old now, hello!

If I'm correct, Evie should turn eighteen - again - in a few days. It'd be amazing if I could find out which girl she was before she turned eighteen, but then I'd feel awful because then she's kind of still a child.

However, like a little alarm bell, every eighteen years or so, there's a ringing in my ears and this awful headache that won't go away until Evie is once again dead. Last time I saw her, she told me I was gonna become a freak of nature. I said I was gonna be the next Captain America.

. . . she laughed. At least that time she died laughing.

Wait, wait. Did you think I was the good guy?

Oh, you're funny.

Hang on, I'll get back to you when I'm done laughing my lungs out.

|•|•| one eternity later |•|•|

Okay, I'm back. By the way, if you didn't read that in the accent of that dude from Spongebob, then get out, 'cause I don't wanna talk to you anymore.

Anyway, as I was saying. So, I'm the guy that lives forever, and Evie's the girl that keeps dying.

Hm, she reminds me of Clara Oswin Oswald . . . what about you? Or maybe Jack Harkness.

No, Clara, because she's reincarnated, not coming back to life.

Hm, poor Evie. Sucks being the good guy. Maybe I should let her age a year this time. I mean, nineteen doesn't sound too bad.

. . .