Sept 28, 2015
I found my adoption papers and it was weird, I knew I was adopted but seeing those papers made me realize how unwanted I am. Even my real parents abandoned me and passed me to others. It... hurts... Am I that awful? Maybe, I'm too ugly or useless, that's why they didn't want me.
Mrs. Taylor was there when I found those papers and her smile, saying it was because I was a worthless girl, made things feel much more real. When she saw me holding those papers, she just smiled and ate. She wasn't giving me a reassuring smile though; it was a smile that made me feel shivers running down my spine. She didn't need to speak; I knew exactly what she was thinking.
Her smile said it all, I was worthless, and no one would ever be crazy enough to really want me. It made me feel terrified of my future and what will become of me if I ever disobey their wishes. They were all I had and are the only ones I will ever have. Mr. and Mrs. Taylor are the only ones who can tolerate me, no one else will, so I would have to do everything they said perfectly.
Mrs. Taylor didn't say anything after that. She just left me in the room, holding my papers with trembling hands, facing the reality of what I am, someone who will never be accepted by anyone. A worthless "thing" that cannot even be considered as human, because if I am human, I wouldn't have been thrown away so easily like trash.
The past few days have been quiet, I'm glad I didn't expect more, this marriage would not change anything. The only difference would be the house where I would sleep. I would share my bed with Gared and live under his roof, but everything would still be the same. I would still be alone as I was before, and Mr. and Mrs. Taylor would still treat me the same. The living arrangements would reduce our "family sessions" though. I'm positive they would not want Gared and his family to see that we are not as perfect as their family.
________________________________________________________________________________
POEM:
Can you see through me?
My hands are gone
So is my body
When I look in the mirror, I see
That you can see through me
People pass by as though
I am nothing but trash
And I know I cannot be brash
But I can't help but want to yell
I wonder if they'll
Hear my scream
Feel my agony
As I try my best to be seen
YOU ARE READING
Meet Belle
Teen FictionHave you ever met a puppet that has bruises under her clothes? If not, want to meet me? This is my diary, I wrote this in hopes of someone reading my story, I wonder, would you sympathize? call me pathetic? Or maybe find out that I am not worth help...
