Meet Belle

Entry Seven

September 19, 2015

Dear Notebook, I cannot stress enough how weird the past few days have been. Mr. and Mrs. Taylor said good morning to me when I went down to make breakfast earlier. They didn't even frown or reprimand me for waking up late. They just smiled; can you believe that? Why are they still treating me like a princess? It doesn't make any sense. I already told you my secret, right? With the way I feel for Gared, I would never run nor fight back, even if I wanted to, I wouldn't be able to anyway.

I already know why they were being so careful before, but now that they've gotten me to agree, I don't know why they have to keep smiling and treating me like this. I'm getting scared about the possibility that everything will be gone if I smile too much. I try to not smile or laugh a lot. Mr. and Mrs. Taylor said nothing good will ever happen if I smile too much, but I've been doing it a lot more these days, and I'm afraid I can't hold it anymore and something will happen again.

What made this day even weirder is that Mr. and Mrs. Taylor asked me to rest for the day. They didn't slap, kick, shout, or frown my way all day. Everything feels like a dream, and I'll probably wake up soon. It feels like I'm trapped, and my feet are cemented to the ground. I can't run from what's about to happen, but I want to.

I'm so happy, but I haven't smiled this much since, well, probably never, Mr. and Mrs. Taylor have warned me off before, but now they said I should smile in front of Gared more, they get angry when I don't. Mrs. Taylor said "how can we let our potential son-in-law think we're not treating you right? You have to show him how happy you are, so he'll like you more." I don't really understand that sentence very well, but I understood it, to keep our secret.

Notebook, what do you think about everything that's been happening? Ever since I first got you, nothing really bad has happened. I feel like you're my lucky charm. Do you think I should just relax and follow what they say? Mr. and Mrs. Taylor mentioned that I would probably get married before high school graduation. They wanna get it over with as soon as possible so that they can get some money from Gared's parents. Is that bad? Should I try to fight? But I don't think that me struggling a little bit would ever be considered as a fight.

Everything's just so confusing, Notebook but I'm glad I at least have you to comfort me these days. I know you can't talk to me but just having you around makes me feel warm. I only have you and, I think, Gared's smile to keep me calm and in control. There has been no new bruise lately to help me calm down and pull me back to reality.

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Poem
They seem to be cemented,
I try to push and pull
But metal ways it down
Why is it that I do not frown?

My feet won't move
Won't run freely
I'm used to it
But still, this feels so different

A frown is not on my face
A smidge of doubt is not in my mind
I can't run, I'm used to it
But now, I do not want to leave unlike before

Edited by: Reneè david