I breathed in the smell of flowers and grass. I leaned back on aids neck. I looked at my book and picked up my pen. ''I cut my wrist and hope to die, Maybe i wont have to say goodbye.'' I looked at Aid, he just neighed softly. I sighed. I looked over at the tall tree with the flowers growing on it.
~Flashback~
''No daughter of mine, will come home just to listen to music, why cant you be more like Hannah and focus on your school work.'' My dad snapped at me. He walked towards me and took the leather book from my hands. ''Give that back!'' I yelled at him. ''No, you will focus on your school work.'' I growled while clenching my fist. ''You cant fucking do that.'' He narrowed his eyes. ''Make me.'' He faked smiled while trashing the book in the trash.'' How could he?. That book was given to me from my best friend. Before she commented suicide. I ran into the bathroom and quickly locked the door. I slid-ed down the door landing on my butt. I didnt notice i was crying until the tears landed on my fresh cuts on my arms. Why cant i be more like Hannah. ''Rhyan, your such a worthless pig, just a fucking waste of space, nothing but a failure.'' The voice told me. Maybe she's right. Maybe i am. ''Come on darling, you know you want to do it, just one cut, please.'' She pleaded. I hung my head down low giving in. I took the little razor pressing it into my wrist. ''How about one more.'' She said. After all the lines reached the elbows she would always say 'one more'. I looked on my arm and seeing the 2 day old cuts. I stood up and looked at every flaw as the blood flooded down my arm. Freckles, nose, mouth, skin. I screamed while putting my fist to the mirror instantly breaking it. Why cant i be pretty like those other girls? Why cant i have clean skin? Why cant i be myself?
~Flashback over~
I always would remember that day. That day was when my dad broke me. Making me what i am. Im a fucking living monster. We cut ourselves on the outside trying to release the monster on the inside.
I put my notebook on the saddlebag, and went back to my house.
"Where the hell were you?" I shrugged my shoulders. "I was out." I told my mom honestly. She clenched her jaw and went over to go make dinner.
"When do I have to see my dad." I asked while pulling out the wooden chair and sitting in it. "Hopefully this week." I sighed, and nodded. "Do I have to alone?" She shook her head yes. "Okay so, where is everybody." I asked while looking around the empty kitchen. "They went to go shopping, they said that, they wanted to give you space." I nodded. "Ill be in the barn, if you need me." She nodded while stiring the milk on the burner.
I walked towards my truck and putted it in reverse, backing up in the barn entrance. I checked to see if the horses was in the stalls, before truning on the radio. Once I tuened on the radio and leaned back to the wooden walls closing my eyes. Letting the music take over me. The song 'Heart like Dixie' came on, and i instantly closed my eyes while singing along.
She had a dead-end job at the National Bank
And a deadbeat husband who always drank
So when he didn't come home
She had the gin to thank for the tears in her eyes
So Dixie packed up and said her goodbyes
She went driving so far away nobody's gonna find her
Flying just fast enough, to leave it all behind her
But she didn't know till she hit the road, deep in her soul
She's got the fire and the fight of a gypsy
Ain't nothing stronger than the heart of Dixie
The heart of Dixie
It's a funny thing when your world falls down
It's got a way of showing you what you're all about
Now Dixie's got her wheels pointed south
And she ain't never looking back
Nobody knew she was brave like that
She went driving so far away nobody's gonna find her
Flying just fast enough, to leave it all behind her
But she didn't know till she hit the road, deep in her soul
She's got the fire and the fight of a gypsy
Ain't nothing stronger than the heart of Dixie
The heart of Dixie
Yeah Dixie woke up to the truth one day
Grabbed her cheap sunglasses and her lipstick case
And she went driving so far away nobody's gonna find her
Flying just fast enough, to leave it all behind her
But she didn't know till she hit the road, deep in her soul
She's got the fire and the fight of a gypsy
Ain't nothing stronger than the heart of Dixie
The heart of Dixie
O-o-oh
The heart of Dixie
O-o-oh.
Guys i am so sorry about the slow update, ill update tomorrow okay? Thanks guys for reading so far. I know this book is shit, lol. Well have a nice day guys, if you want to hate or whatever just comment. And guys i forgot my kik password so now its cheyenne_lucy and i also have snapchat(same thing cheyenne_lucy) Thanks guys:) Love yall
