I think I was blind. I think I was slammed doors and misused brooms. I think I was a slap in the face positive pregnancy test. I think I was a mistake. I shouldn't be here, I don't belong. I'm a shell, mom. I'm not supposed to be here and now I'm the dried husk of a cicada. I think they want to eat me Hannah. They want to devour my bones like snakes writhing in the gaping maws of wolves. I'm hearing my voice Hannah, hearing it in my head yelling putrid words that stink of rot and forgotten promises. I think I need to bathe this filth off mom, bathe off the hypocrisy. I don't think I'm innocent anymore Ryan. I think she took my innocence from me. I've got butterflies rapping in my head mom, I can feel them trying to pound their way out. Their wings don't feel soft anymore Hannah, they hurt. I think I need help, I think I'm breaking. I need the pills and razors, won't you let me have my relief again? I promise I'll be better. I'm sorry I'm not what you wanted, I promise not to let the butterflies out again. I think the stars in my eyes are dimming, you can't tell can you hannah. I think you see a supernova when they're already dead. I think I'm shrinking mom, I'm a child in a witch's oven. She's going to eat me mom, I'm going to be gobbled up and all the butterflies will fall out. Don't let the butterflies come out Hannah, please don't. I can stand them leaving me, they're all I've got to distract from my voice. I need medicine hannah, can you hear me? Can you see me? I think I'm not blind anymore, I think you're blind now. I think I've given you my disease and I think I'll have to live with it. I'm sorry hannah mom Ryan. Please don't let her devour me and let the butterflies out.
