goodbye dead parents hello lin-manuel miranda's old apartment

one

G R A N N Y - Y E L L

My parents had always gotten on my last nerve.

It wasn't until they were involved in a freak massacre, that I began to appreciate everything they had done for me over the course of my lifetime, even if it was only a short fourteen years. I had no siblings, for the simple reason that my parents were too old to have another child.

It was late at night that the policemen had arrived at my home regarding the incident. I had been spread out on the brown couch of my living room, on FaceTime with my best friend, Add-Yell Boucherio. We had been discussing some simple things, such as the tour cast of our favourite musical, Hamilton. We had been quite excited, as we had just found out that they were going to come to Canada in the year 2019 or 2020.

All of a sudden, I heard a loud knock on the wooden door. Even Add-Yell, who was on the other side of the phone, flinched slightly at the not-so-quaint noise. I stood shakily, silently wondering who could possibly need my assistance at this late hour of the night. I motioned for Add-Yell to stay quiet while I answered the door, placing my index finger onto my lips and opened the door carefully.

A police officer stood on the other side of the big wooden door. I furrowed my eyebrows, what could these big burly police officers possibly want?

"Hello, Officer," I say nervously, "would you like to enter my quaint home? I'll make you some tea."

The police officer shook his head sadly, looking down at the wooden steps that he was standing on. I look down at my phone nervously, seeing that Add-Yell was wearing the same expression as I was, a face of concern.

"Are you Granny-Yell Allardio? The only child of Swan-Pull and Jenna-Pher Allardio?" He asks me, looking at me with an expression of absolute sympathy.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, nodding slowly and trying not to imagine the worst case scenario. "Yes, I am," I said cautiously, trying to ignore the panic building in my chest and the unbearable urge to vomit that was slowly overtaking my senses, "what do you need?"

"Your parents have been severely injured in a brutal massacre," He told me, his expression morphing into one of sympathy, "they are in the hospital, but there are slim chances that they will survive."

I entire body was frozen in place, unwilling to process the information that I had just received. Suddenly, a thought entered my brain. My parents had not been alone on that night, what had happened to the people they were with, Add-Yell's parents?

"What about Claw-Debt and Bree-Yawn Boucherio?" I ask him cautiously, not entirely sure that I wanted to know the answer, "Are they okay? They were all together tonight."

The police officer's face took an air of surprise at my mention of our close family friends, before morphing into and expression of sympathy once again. "You knew them?" He asked me, cocking his head to the side.

At his words, I began to panic. "What do you mean knew? They're fine, they have to be fine!" I screech, the build-up of emotion becoming too much to handle.

Add-Yell, who I had forgotten was on FaceTime, let out a high-pitched scream, making both me and the police officer jump. I looked down at my phone, but Add-Yell had already hung up, leaving me in the dark of what she was going to do.

In a panic, I tug on my black sneakers, running out the front door with the police officer in tow. I ran across my front lawn and onto Add-Yell's porch, which was next door to mine. Without knocking, I flung open her front door, racing to her bedroom.

Seeing that the room in which I had visited at many reprises was empty of my best friend, I quickly exited and ran downstairs to the bathroom of her quaint home. I paused for a second before going in, crossing my fingers that the situation was not as bad as I had been imagining since she hung up the call. Add-Yell couldn't go back down that road, for this time she may not emerge.

Holding my breath, I swing open the flimsy door to her small bathroom, taking in my surroundings. My eyes are immediately drawn to Add-Yell, who was taking familiar looking pills out of their containers and putting them in the small ceramic sink. I let out a noise that resembled a goat making a war-cry, lunging towards my sobbing friend and trying to knock what I realised were her dad's cholesterol pills out of her hand.

"Momio," She screams out in a pained voice, calling for her mother as she had many times before, "Dadio! Don't worry, I will be there with you soon!"

She screeched, struggling against my grip and managed to swallow a mere pill before I knocked all of the cholesterol pills out of the grip of her truly grotesque hands. By golly, this was certainly not the use of cholesterol pills our saviour, the Lord Jesus Christ had in mind!

I held Add-Yell in my arms for a moment, giving her five sympathetic pats on the back to calm her abnormal breathing pattern. All of a sudden, we heard someone whistling a tune near us. Slightly frightened, we slowly turned our heads towards the tune, jumping in surprise when we saw police officer sweeping up the cholesterol pills from the bathroom floor with a retractable broom that he had carried in his police belt.

"Uh," I ask him slowly, feeling slightly uncomfortable, "is everything okay?"

"Oh yes," He responded with a cheerful smile, "magnificent, actually! I thought I should help the clean-up process. I'm supposed to get you girls to the hospital, Jenna-Pher and Swan-Pull are in surgery."

Hearing that, my eyes snapped up to meet his, the weight of the whole situation finally descending onto my shoulders. With the whole Add-Yell situation, the news about my parents had been put on the back burner, only to be tended to when I had finished with my best friend. I looked at Add-Yell, silently asking her if she was alright, to which she nodded slightly and looked down.

"Listen," I started, giving her head four sympathetic pats, "I don't feel comfortable with leaving you alone. Do you want to come, or would you rather go somewhere? I need to go see them, they're my parents."

Add-Yell took a deep breath, letting it out slowly before nodding slowly, "I'll come," She said in a hoarse voice, the effect from all the sobbing we had done a few moments prior, "I should be there."

I turned back to the police officer, smiling sadly, "We're ready,"

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a/n: heyyyy its danielle here with another joint book. time for add-yell and granny-yell to shine!!!! adele will do add-yell, i'll do granny-yell, as you had probably previously assumed. get ready for a hell of a ride with this one, guys.

like all of our other books, if you don't have a sense of humour, leave now. you're in for a hell of a lot of unrealistic things that were just meant to be funny. you don't have to inform us that a shovel taser doesn't exist, we are well aware. this book is just meant to be something to laugh at and move on, not constantly question our sanity, we do that enough already. anywayzz, bye.

-danielle